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Friday, May 09, 2008 @ 8:44 AM
Ex. HighNoon #1 27/4 7.32am JNJB It's 7.32 in the morning and I've awoken from my slumber. Much earlier than the rest, not that I really need the sleep given my daily routine for the past 8-9 days. But I'm awake, and i can't sleep. Exercise started on the 18th, and all i could wish for that day was that it's already the 30th. It isn't so much about the inconvenience or the hygiene or even the discomfort of improper rations. I fear boredom. Very much. It only hurts less because i'm wasting time along with everyone else. After 9 days out of camp, i'm starting to have 2nd thoughts about it being a waste of time. Aside from the setting up and fighting link for hours and hours straight, I've done and seen things i doubt i'll ever do or see in Singapore. I may not have seen the hustle and bustle of Taiwan and its many beauties ( you know what i mean), but just so you know i had to drive a horrible 6 hours simply to reach our deployment ground. It was like a road trip, with the many rest stops in between and the clutter of food we had on our dashboard. The sightseeing from town to town, drawing curious stares onto our convoy of vehicles. When we got to Hu Tou Shan, we didn't get to appreciate its beauty till into the night. we may have had only been 250m above sea level, but it was enough to savour the vastness of the towns, roads and hills below. It was a picture perfect moment. It was perfect. We've only been finding things to do to fill up the void ever since, and i'll say we're doing fine. It can be as simple as playing bomberman or chatting late into the night to seeing random fireworks. adding to that, i'll never forget our 'Little Angel'. Very often my hours to lunch are a blur, nothing a good meal can't fix though. Honestly, my 1 1/2 years so far have been a blur. Ever since i've landed in Taiwan, everyday feels the same; like i'm still stuck in Wednesday. Everyday is simply a day; the distinct difference between a weekday and weekend was lost the moment i stepped into Meilin Camp. To this day it still feels like a very long week to me. But who am I to complain, when everyday in Singapore has pretty much been the same since i enlisted. While only varying in degrees of pain and insanity, it has stabilised as of late. My weekends have been as routine as my weekdays. I don't put much thought into how my time has to be utilised. Simply said, i'm wasting time as well. While I'll admit that this Taiwan trip won't change much of anything, I don't expect my life to change just because I can change it. I neither like nor dislike how I'm living now; i'm just comfortable. It takes a decent amout of effort to find one's comfort zone, but even more to live out of it. To say that the army has been a waste of time may be too harsh on my part. Granted, i've wasted time in the army, but these two years have helped given me a break from my life, or living for that matter. I may have grown more distant from society, but definitely not from myself. Heaven knows, I may have even found a GirlFriend by now had it not been for the army. Still, i know i'll be in no position to look after her. I'll be the same old Eric as i was in JC. Indifferent, materialistic, clueless and shallow. I was too happy-go-lucky, so much so that i was oblivious to my surroundings. I was very unaware, impaired by my own ego. I was one idiot. While I am in no good position to have a GirlFriend now given my prior commitments, i doubt i'll ever be ready. how can you prepare for something as volatile as emotions? Logic may put reason into the picture, but we should never undermine feel. I don't want it to be 2 robots in a relationship, as much as i don't want it to be 2 puppies in love. I want her to live the moment with me, and still feel safe from the fact that we are able to look after each other. I want her to be happy being with me, and yet still be happy without me. I don't want her to be overwhelmed by her daily routines and fall into the trap of monotony. I'd appreciate it if she could take some time off to do mindless mundane things with me simply because we need a breather from working and that we are spending time with each other just so we can spend time with each other. What i really want for a GirlFriend is a Good Friend. |