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Eric Li.


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Saturday, July 30, 2005 @ 3:28 PM
Different day. Same shit.

a wk and a half to ndp. yeah, looking forward to it cos' of the holidays. ever since i've entered JC, the value of holidays have increased exponentially. but quek has to spoil 'em by giving us a test the day after they end. wad only, u can always look to teachers to do this sort of nonsense. tks sia.

this week feels like any other one. took chem test on tuesday though, and halleujah, sure gona flunk it. wanted to study for it the night before, but i 'accidentally' went to slp cos' after u read comics for like an hour, your eyes will somehow become heavy. and it sure doesnt help when your bed is just a hand strech away. but i somehow managed to wake up at 3 plus, and i somehow didnt want to take the test unprepared, i browsed through the chapters lor. managed to complete, though i definitely didnt remember everything. realli dislike chem liao, too much memory work required, and we sure dun make a good match. wanted to drop chem, but i can always count on the fact that my fmaths aint 'A' material to knock some sense into me again. hopefully, though most unlikely, my chem grade aint gona stay at borderline, cos' a blardy 'E' is all you need to dirty-fy the result slip.

got back iterative method test on fri. 16/25. good? wasnt paying much attention to it cos' i was more afraid of getting caught by ling ling for not completeting her tutorial. kena her on tue already, and there is no such thing as a 2nd time for mdm koh. she's really scary, don't let her wide smil (or more like grin) fool you. and the clothes she wear, wah, is to purposely catch that lurid gaze of yours so that you'll forget abt your tutorials. then she'll pounce on you like some tiger on a rat, and keep shooting you with alot of rubbish, until u totally forget what the heck she's scolding you about. you'll look down on your table and the unfinished tutorials will refresh your memories. after that, you won't want to look up again.

ling ling, ease up la.



Tuesday, July 19, 2005 @ 4:30 PM
Another day at school.

it's been a pretty normal week. the usual lessons, tutorials and stuff. nothing unusual happens when u're studying ya life away in jc. it's all so rigid. guess it's something i gotta live with since i chose to take the jc route. do i regret it? i've no idea honestly. i've never had the knack for thinking far ahead of what's before my very eyes. i can't plan. no wait,it's i don't plan. plan for wat's to come.did some personality test on friday. the usual DISC thing. it was a simple one, and found out that i'm pretty much a S and I fella.had no D's at all. one C. even my friends expected me to be an S fella (more like an ASS fella). but their analysis of each personality was pretty accurate. esp the part that S (or was it I?) ppl may appear open and easy-going, but they often keep things to themselves. and that they prefer one-to-one chatting, rather than be in a group. ya, i prefer that to. just chillin' out and chatting crap as we sip coke or something. life's too short to be taken for granted, esp when u're only left with only one year half to NS. so fast. so near.

there was a moment of silence as we waited for the PA system to play the national anthem. just as everyone waited patiently, aimlessly, waiting for the music to come on, i thought of how i had ended up here. it was only a year ago when i was still having assembly in the parade square at tms. it was different. at least at that time, u could see the whole cohort of sec 4s and a couple of sec 3s. but now, when i'm in the parade square, there's like only a few classes i can see clearly, other than the two next to me. so if u admire some gal from another class in jc, it's damn difficult to catch glimpses of her. tms was much easier. but what i miss the most is the people i hang out with. i realise that i can never forget the times i spent with chao, ivan and corny. i think it's because they were the only people near me, and we really had the same mindset. we had common interests and we didnt mind one another's nonsense. we enjoyed keeping each other company, and more than often, they were my company. we similar in many ways, yet we chose different paths. always i have this mood where i wish for me to spend one more year with them, passing each other as it is, playing around and making a fool of ourselves. what do i miss? the simple chats, all the laughs and teasing one another. playing battleships and bingo while people we studying for some history chp in class. heading down to 7-11 to grab some microwave food and stuff as afternoon lessons were about to start in 25min. getting into trouble for not doing lao da's hwk and pretty much all the other teachers' assignments. teasing tian cai abt all the things that we could think of. and to end the year was the anime marathon. what i missed about it is not the anime itself (ok, full metal alchemist was awesome, but that's not the point), but our last time together as temasekians.

i miss u all. till we meet again.



Monday, July 11, 2005 @ 11:36 PM
that day.

that picture. that scene. etched onto my mind for all eternity.

it seems the more i struggle to forget it all, the more i fail, the more i fall.

into this trap of greif. agony. regret.

it always boils down to this question : why did i have to see that?

of all the doors to choose, why that door?

of all the moments, why that moment?

reason? purpose? i must no longer delude. for to delude, i'll never conclude.

conclude this tragedy.

tragedy?

what is, is.

wateva was, was.

let me be. leave me to be. in this sea. sea of ...



Saturday, July 09, 2005 @ 10:21 PM
agony.

why did i have to see it?

what are the odds of seeing u then?

who was he?

when will i eventually forget it all?

which other fool will feel like this?

how do i live on?

agony.



Monday, July 04, 2005 @ 7:08 PM
Youth Day.

just a couple of thoughts i had today, too lazy to write paragrapghs of them.

'it's youth day. 1 day to chinese oral. nice.'

'finally i'm goin to get my iriver fixed. all the way to juroung though. swt.'

'it's 1.20pm and the movie has started. i'm still at tiong bahru though. power sia. must not panic, must not panic.'

'phew, still showing the training part, lucky me.'

'if i could pull up someone like liam neeson up from a cliff with one hand, i could probably do 50 pull-ups.'

'oh come on, batman doesnt need to use guns. he uses FEAR!'

'wait till you see my other car.'

'oh damn, katie has nice big eyes. cruise u lucky bastard.'

'you have nothing to fear except fear itself. cliche.'

'bale fits as the bat. 1.88m of muscle, perfect.'

'oh my god, i didnt know bale could speak so ruggardly and deeply. if only i could too.'

'it's not what you are underneath, but what you do that defines you.'

shit sia, scarecrow is the most pathetic villian i've seen in my life. kena zapped by a civilian, not by the bat. move aside la.where the hell is the joker?'

'wa kao, end like that, with the stupid joker card.'

'...what makes batman so powerful is his reality. he's a superhero because he has no super powers...'

'katie, you'd rather pick a chicken shit who spends two hours running away from ugly aliens over a man who eats chicken shit for supper? u're kidding me.'

'you know you're a bat fan when you are looking for batman begins soundtracks.'

'18hrs to oral. save me.'



Saturday, July 02, 2005 @ 8:10 PM
just chillin on a sat night.

it's all over.

rather fast actually, it was only last week when i was still slacking at home as my bro was out with some camp. 6 months have gone by? darn, it feels so unreal man. had C maths on wednesday. initially, i had woken up at 5.30, by chance rather than by intention. so, it being still dark and with the hypnotic morning breeze, i willing went back to bed. how i regretted. when i opened my eyes again, dawn had broken already. much earlier already. u know whenever this happens, i will always think that it's a non-sch day, and that fact that it was actually a sch day won't hit me until much later. maybe i'm just real laggy in the morning. wat time did u wake up? 6.50. powerful or not? i damn kan cheong lor, i had to brush my teeth buttoning my shirt and zipping my pants. as impossible as it may sound, i did it. by the time i was at the bus stop, 7 le. even if i was in tms, it might not make it on time lor. and worse, i've to make it to MJ in 1/2 hour. while on the bus, i had probably checked my watch 426398459238475 times. but when i finally got onto the train, i told myself to clam down. no matter what, i was going to be late, no point worring abt anything. oh, and as i was waiting for the train (which took exceptionally longer to arrive. being late is nuts), saw bs. actually, bs saw me and called me as he headed for the escalator. haha, what are the odds? felt better, at least i wasnt alone. haha, need to say this also. as the train was stopping at taneh merah station, guess who i saw walking towards the station? henry lor, and by my poor estimation, he'd probably take anothre 15 min before he could get onto the taneh merah staion platform. i think only 05s101 can understand joke. whateva, by the time i hopped onto the bus heading for my dearly beloved MJ, it was 7.32 or so. couldnt clearly rmb, cos' i was pretty much in a daze then. still stunned by the fact that i could have stayed up after waking up at 5.30, but lack of sleep got the better of me. anyhow, tks to karthi whom i met on the bus coincidentally and was oddly calm (not surprising la, i see her as a very bo chup gal), i felt better. sometimes, i wish i was more heck care about being late, just cooly walk into sch. late than late lor, no biggy, call my parents i dun mind. want me to tok to principal oso can. but as long as u dun touch my academics and punish me using them, i'm satisfied.

Cmaths? err, obviously it gave less kick than Fmaths, needless to say, but because i had started my morning like that, the impact of rushing to sch and all that tension got the better of me. while i was doing the 3d qn, i simply couldnt answer it. a couple before that i had equal difficulty. i think it's because of my stomache la. but i was afraid i won't be able to finish the paper on time, so i tried to tahan. but by 9, i heck. just ask teacher to let me go. he somehow ask 'can i say no?' of cos i say no lor, u want me to shit on your face ar? ok, that's too vulgar. so while in the toilet, i was thinking of the 3d qn and the small angle one. wah, it helps leh. managed to figure out how to do the small angle, and the 3d one became clearer. washed my face multiple times, kept telling myself to calm down. dun panic. dun panic. the rest of the paper was a breeze, felt more comfortable. while doing the paper, thought of that time when i had O'level physics practical. i was more powerful lor, woke up at 7.15. and sch starts at 7.30. i did contemplate of running to sch, but took the taxi eventually. and the driver noob la, dunno where tms is. haha, all in all, it sux to be late for a paper.

had physics the following day. i was in a really bo chup mood liao. this always happens whenever i have to study for the last paper. only started studying at 5. slack and slpt first. and physics is the only paper i managed to do my tys. anyhow, physics was alright. it was more direct than the previous test. the previous one at least u had to stone at the qn for a while before it comes to u. but physics exam was straightforward. not say easy, just more obvious. after that went to bridge with kk they all. but didnt play long cos' they wanted to play lan. so i went home lor. played com and watch lots of tv. realli felt like pontanging LC lor, it felt so insignificant. also, i knew that even if i had scored full marks for it, i'ld still fail chinese. pointless i say. this reminded me of wad my 'lao da' had told me back in sec sch. usually those chinese students who cant score for paper or compo, LC they'll score full marks de. and his statement has facts support lor. but i still went for it la. chinese, being my mother tongue, deserves this least bit of respect, and also after how i hantan the paper and compo, i felt guilty. was super sianz during LC, in btw qns i even had time to write a poem lor. LC has the right atmosphere for u to write a poem. especially at the end when they play that very oriental music as u are given time to ans all ya qns. wrote a decent poem during that period, shall post it up after i got my paper back ( that's where i scribbled it all down.) after the paper, jevan asked whether anyone wanted to go for outing at 12+. i didnt mind, but when he mentioned PS, i walked with KK to play bridge. haha, i am so evil, sry orh jevan. it wasnt a very fun game compared to tuesday. didnt laugh alot. so after that we headed for home. me and kk were toking abt movies, and we both wanted to watch initial d. so i suggested watching it right now (or then, as we walked to the bus stop). but in the end he said too ex. i understand, cos' he has this canada trip. awesome man, canada leh. u get to meet all the cute babes from other countries.i honestly think Kk deserves it, as much as i wish i had been the one choosen. he's changed la, different from the first time i met him. prefer the now him. aiya, sound so gay.

went home and slack first. msg ppl and see who wanted to watch initial d. not many lor. so sad, find that our class very difficult to hold outings, cos' of the different cliques. like that hold chalet how? sianz, hope it turns out better. went earlier to buy tickets for fear that there might be a long queue. but none leh, funny. saw alot of MJ ppl, at cs and tm. all watching initial d i guess. saw kah mun with her co. so evil, watch already. met up with pam later on. waiting for stupid jevan lor, dunno what he doing. called him at 4.45, asked him where he was. 'simei.' powerful. movie start at 4.45 still dare to say he at simei. at least lie to me and say at tampines la, comfort me. although we entered cinema at 5, trailers were still rolling. damn heng lor he, if not i hantam him later. and he still say he had dunno wat, consulted with the gods already. nonsense lor, this not like chem mcq for him to anyhow tikam. i sound so naggy eh? ok, my bad. how was the movie? alright la, though i am looking forward to the anime one instead. this one not much kick la, just alot of those drifting and cool guys and cute babes. damn man, think only jap babes can act cute. was wondering which other country's babes can do the same. when i saw jay crying, was thinking if that was real or fake. did he use some tear-inducer or something. then when he cry, it's damn funny lor. he force it until i laugh. but all in all, he fits the role. he too cool already lor, and the character needs him to be. the movie is worth ya 6.50 la, but not 8 dollars. catch it if u love to hear screeching of tyres, cos' that's what i think of whenever i think of the movie.