|
profile Eric Li. archives January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 September 2010 November 2010 links km clarence mex pam sq tagboard |
Monday, February 25, 2008 @ 8:00 AM
The Oddly Early Monday Morning how can you not feel the least bit intellectually inadequate if for 5 times a week you're chained in a hellhole void of mental and emotional stimulant? as if being ridiculously stupid and blindly obedient is not enough, we have to, pardon me, lick the very balls of our superiors which shares a inverse proportion to the size of their egos. the only discovery after these 2 years will be that of self-discovery: the awareness of my sexual orientation. if only they had paid for a red army with the budget surplus. watching californication(courtesy of ccyk) has gotten me thinking about how i should live myself in my more adult-self(that is if i survive the next 10 odd years). i've come to realise that i survive better with short-term aims rather than looking far and ahead. of course it only means that i live by the moments and often have these lapses of time when i'm purely aimless. while i do not have a well-crafted and formulated plan as to how i'm going to SURVIVE the remainder of my life, i've at least got a rough sketch of how i'm going to LIVE it. without a doubt, at barely 20, i can hardly say i've embraced the flaws of humanity nor lived a life of woes. however it's all bollocks when people put themselves before others. wouldn't it be more logical if we all looked out for one another? but i guess the more vast the organisation, the lesser need for logic is in place (nsfs can clearly relate to this). when we're in primary school, teachers ask WHAT we want to be when we grow up. when we're in junior college, teachers should be asking WHO we want to be when we grow up. that way when we're dead, you're only left with the WHY. i don't wish to be tied down or held back when i'm older. of course to savour free will would be to embrace that of others, so i'll never be judgmental regardless of how much cynicism i'll be put through. i prefer the idea of being able to experience the wrath of many evils, that way you'll get temptation out of the way. after which you'll be more in position to make an informed decision. i'll never be a good parent in that sense i guess, given my open nature. but if i'm to be charged for showing how life can kill you in its many miraculous ways, then i plead guilty. basically i want to grow up without growing up. |