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Friday, July 28, 2006 @ 9:37 AM
i flirt? i flirt. so i flirt. or so i flirt? fine i never did see the signs, and there is no point arguing for my defence now since it's too late for that. now i can only 'reassess' (this word has been appearing lots lately) my situation and make some tweaks here and there. it's time to go back to my roots. first of all, what is flirt? up to now not even god (i'm referring to sq) has a definition for it, what more can i do then? but i know it takes a 3rd party to be able to see this sort of things abt a person, so i was oblivious to my flirtaious ways if i ever was. i admit that i had been rather open, easy-going and may have stepped over the line as a friend when socialising, but my intentions were clear. i knew who i wanted to get close to and who not. but sometimes, intentions and actions may contradict, and it takes much less an effort to realise the former. first impressions are so crucial because of ppl's tendency to judge too soon for their own good, but this is a flaw that makes humans what they are: imperfect. it's not that i have many female friends in the first place, but i guess it is just my luck. i was thinking if i was ever a flirt in sec sch, but because of my lack of definition for this cruel label, i am unable to come to a conclusion. but i did find out something though. i was close friends to the female friends whom one of my guy friends had a crush on. and the list appears: huisin we were close. emphasis on the word close. but yea, we were talking lots during sec3. and there was this guy called jun kai who apparently had the hots for her. i knew him through bball, which was the platform in tms if u wanted to make friends quick and painless. just a few lay-outs and shots here and there, and we were meeting after sch for bball games. i cant exactly recall how i found out that he liked her, but he did respect her as a councillor and stuff initially. yea, how convenient that respect can morphed into like w/o socialising much. but that is 'crush' for you. vanessa hm, i wouldnt say we were close, but i was made to sit behind her in sec3 and naturally when you're spending hours in class, you'll interact somehow. but we sort of friends who talked abt superficial stuff so i'll just say that we were friends. and the idiot me only found out that much much later that erjie had a crush on her for quite some time already. but i didnt notice it until someone told me, and by then she and lemuel were already steads. erjie probably got closer to her when there was a change in seating plans in sec4, and by then i was already sitting in the 'isolated' row. so no matter... queenie ok la, this one really is ultimate. she was the first person i exchanged sms with when i got my new hp. and it was nuts la, dunno how i managed to choke up so many in a month. but that was then, when i was young and totally noob. fortunately we never did get close enough, and i had this friend bing sheng who was actually busy plotting some devious plan to distract deren so that he could top the level. now, i dont know how he managed to get close to queenie as well, but sometime in sec4, they kinda of 'stead' la. he was all over her, but it never did turn out for the best. eventually he got all heated up after his efforts were never appreciated, so he's still hating her till now. actually, i dont know what it is with ppl having so much hate over such gay issues. ok, maybe i wasnt in his shoes, but hate is rlly like when someone kills ya parents or something la. but hey, shit happens all the time.. ee may she may not have those hot models kinda looks, but there was something abt her that made her atttractive. and i was blessed to be able to sit nxt to her for a few terms in sec3. she's rlly rlly smart, but whenever she pwns me in tests, she acts blur and says 'aiya tyco la'. i wish i could tyco as well. she was known for her smile and dao-ness. she's rlly an approachable person, but she's always hanging out with her clique so ppl had some misconceptions of her. anyway, yuan wei was the guy who was rumoured to be in love with her la. i rmb this time when my 2/4 friends and yw were on the bus with ee may, all alone. naturally, guys being guys, we tried to push him closer towards her, and eventually he alighted with her. haha, those were innocent times. i think he did confess to her in the end, but he hit a brick wall la. no matter, at least he is successfully attached now. come to think of it, maybe i've been a flirt all along. should i change? well, at least to avoid misunderstandings, why not. but like she said, that wouldnt me then. is it really worth it to change for someone else? why not, if that person means alot to you. what do i have to lose? |