CheeseCake

Hold on, We Should be Together

2010-11-29T02:13:00.003+08:00

when we approach a problem, we often decide our response relying upon inference rather than logical deduction. inference is essentially a good guess based upon past observations and extrapolating, if not interpolating, the next best course of action in a familiar pattern. if anything, we cannot assume a linear pattern exists in many occurrences; linear relationships only help to simplify the matter at hand. more importantly, we leaving too much of our future in the hands of our past. no one likes to step out of their confort zones; they treasure their personal space to point they are so absorbed with its formalities. i appreciate the existence of rules and regulations, but we must look beyond them when solving a problem. these rules aren't carved in stone, they were put into place by an authority of higher order with a supposed higher level of far-sightedness.

i find it truly rewarding when someone cares to share his comfort zone and personal space with me. it means i have managed to fully assimilate into their way of life without interfering too much. also, it removes the complications of formalities and 'politeness'. i know we are held accountable for how we behave and respond in a social environment, but the only valuable contribution anyone can make is themselves as themselves. ultimately, everyone is taking on a persona to fit into a mould that'll decide how the other social actors will perceive this individual from then on. it sounds like a cause for convenience than anything else. haha and thereafter, it's a matter of keeping an image. why would I want to communicate with a plastic individual? why do we have to be fake and plastic? we think we are protecting others when we behave in a socially acceptable manner, but really, we just protecting ourselves from being hurt. it would not be pleasant at all should our 'true' personality be rejected. but hey, you can adopt another image and wa-la! you're back in a gang.

facebook and twitter have shaped us into well-polished narcissistic individuals. self-individualism may have overrated personal opinions. we pride ourselves with what we can say, and start to forget that we don't always have something smart to say. i just loveee to see attention-grabbing headlines just so it can steal your attention for those few seconds. stomp oh stomp succeeds at that.

intelligence is important. damn, intelligence is just so fucking important. im not just talking about the brainy sort, there are other disciplines of intelligence that are as significant. while it's good to have something to say, it matters more if you are saying something smart. i absolutely get it when a girl asks for a intellectual guy to keep conversation with; our brain screams for stimulation or it'd just rot away. logging onto www.cracked.com every few days sure helps too.

53A - We Should be Together

sadly i cannot find local music torrents. what up with that sial.

No Black and White

2010-09-03T01:55:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging sparsely again. no one really reads blogs nowadays do they? tweets on facebook are more eye-catchy and you are granted some degree of mystery with how limited you can post. but really, you are only telling facebook because you know none of your 'friends' would actually want to hear what you have to say. so you're just really throwing bait to see what fish you could catch. to further facilitate your friends' convenience, he can simply 'like' comments to acknowledge them; just as how laughter has become a tool of acknowledgment rather than a means of expression. dang it should be made unethical to laugh falsely, that's equivalent to cheating. and the only cheating i could tolerate are push-up bras.

what's it with tits and ass that's so attractive? i could google that now and find a scientific reasoning (wait, i've done that before), but do we really need to know? it's a mix of biological and cultural influence, but i wouldn't want to believe that i'm Born to be weak for them. does freedom of will exist? did you really have chicken rice today because u wanted to eat chicken rice? or does it only matter that you like chicken rice?

i watched 5 centimetres per second recently. the movie is only 63 mins, and while some may argue that is 63 mins too short, i would think it is left to linger on with your imagination filling in the gaps. it is a beautiful movie. probably the most beautiful one i have ever watched. when we are in love, we believe nothing can tear us apart. even when doubts arise, we live in the past to fill us with hope for the future. but while we may start out together, we can slowly drift away given the circumstances. it's heartbreaking to think so, but we take heart in the fact that we had tried to stay strong in the face of adversary. i accept that we should not pin our hopes on the past and instead, look to finding a way to be happy in the present.

circumstances may have compelled you to make a decision, but the choice is yours ultimately.

just like how i chose not to upsize my filet-o-fish meal yesterday because i did not feel so hungry.

Touch my Robot Groin

2010-07-05T01:42:00.002+08:00

my dad is a big fan of robin van persie now that oranje brought him his 1st winning bet; passion overwhelms everything else. i haven't had a good streak in this world cup, the worst surprise upset would be the brazil oranje game. What a COMPLETE DOWNER sial. placing bets before a game sure +1 to the thrill, but +2 happiness when you actually win.

doing my thang at subway doesnt seem as enjoyable as it was before. i somehow had this impression that working was more fulfilling than studying while i was still schooling. now that i am actually doing it, it feels more like a chore dragging myself there daily. the closest i get to fulfilling my job description as a 'sandwich artist' is when i spray and squirt the sauces over the sandwich in a supposed artistic fashion. nothing like having your signature in honey mustard and mayo...

anyway there was once i mistook mayo for milo, was wondering why someone would ask for milo over their sandwich. the only thing weirder than that was when someone asked if we sold pizza at subway. dang maybe with the cheddar cheese and marinara sauce, i could whip up something pretty wicked. subway is probably only fun when you have such free reign.

i cannot tolerate people who are a nuisance; i value my personal space and silence. i keep my headphones on not to bob my head to the rhythm of the music, but to cancel myself from the garbage you are vulnerable to when you step out of your house. i don't appreciate people who speak without common sense, it's amazing how some have absolute lack of self-awareness. or maybe im too careful and calculative of my decisions and actions. while i believe that being truly yourself in the presence of others is the only sensible act that everyone should commit themselves to, many would say it is easier said than done. but you can only respect others when you respect their capacity to tolerate your genuine personality and competence. we should not be afraid to disgust others, that way we would also allow ourselves to farm a more lasting crop of friends.

friends who find robot arms a turn on.
friends who find 300 rpm a sexy kind of speed.

...ah!

Vagina Dentata

2010-06-02T12:26:00.002+08:00

and the wisdom tooth saga continues. I grow more frustrated than hurt when my body is unable to function properly, especially so when you can't sleep over the pain. I hope for this damn tooth to be yanked out asap so that i can chomp down my double massive sunrise burgers with grit and gusto. too bad this tooth grew out 2 years too late, or else I could have put it on mindef's tab and make the MC's more worthwhile.

i would have imagined myself to be working by now, but contrary to belief, im still dilly-dallying at home. i managed to spend an entire afternoon yesterday on youtube (that's one achievement i can tick off my bucket list). the blackhole of youtube consumes your time and soul...

everyone should go watch 'teeth' and check to see if you've got vagina dentata. that shit bites and kills.

Flash Forward Flash

2010-04-04T12:16:00.004+08:00

im just waiting for the day when i attempt to log into my blog and it says my account has been terminated due to long periods of idle. however stagnant it could be, it can't be any worse than liverpool's current season. what up with lvpool sial...

hey what is this? the exams are almost over? with a routine of study eat sleep you tend to lose track of time. i used to look forward to movies opening when i was in the army and before you know it, you only had....1 year to ORD. army seems so distant, but once upon a time it took up my life. it devoured my life and all its mojo. dead man marching is more apt. now, i count the weeks with every chapter of bleach. Rumoured to be ending soon, but of course i may just be telling you the same thing next year.

i was riding my bike to a full moon today along the west coast highway. i like riding along that expressway, as it's just next to the sea and you only have the string of headlamps to guide you. moreover traffic is scarce on that road, so for those few minutes i feel like im elsewhere other than Singapore. that is, until i see vivocity and it's back to reality. (oops there goes gravity)

i say hurray to youtube. while it may have killed MTV, i say there are plenty of other 'blackholes' to revel in. what begins as a simple clip of 'amazing soccer goals' and soon you'll be watching torres playing for atletico madrid at age 12. and if u refuse to cease, you'll carry on to see weird soccer celebrations in FIFA 2010. the internet is so vast it overwhelms us. we need spurts of info here and there, but we seldom settle for depth. you should fix a theme when you're youtubing (like gameshow scandals for eg), and see the next 2 hours zip by. at least you'll know of a certain Michael Larson aka THE Rain Man.

all the above are just fillers really. im blogging because clarence had a flash forward of me reading his blog and blogging myself too. uber creepy, i'd rather flash forward Torres holding the EPL trophy. or is that just a distant dream. well, just as how clarence is unaware of who reads his blog, im feeling a little insecure as well. so Mexcel if you're reading this, just blog back, i’m reading this. Then i’ll know.

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE! (unless you've got herpes)

Don't Speak Don't Even Whisper

2010-02-06T14:52:00.003+08:00

I have been making a conscious effort to not consume my greens for all my meals. Seems unreal when i stand back and think about it, but it has become second nature to me (except for fried rice). I believe this inherent disgust stems from my childhood trauma of having to finish my veges before I can leave the table. You see, i'm a rebel at heart and rather than give in, i gave up on this healthy part of every meal. well, i do consume fruits regularly and that saves me the trouble of constipation, but im certain I am a poor model of God's creation. If i ever go to heaven, im going to need nitro-boosted jetpacks instead of those flimsy angel wings.

hey hey 2 months to dropping my P plate, although i think the P plate for motorcycles serves as more of an obstacle rather than probation. If a motorcycle license worked like that of a class 3, I say we're going to need more traffic lights around. It's definitely better to clock some distance before you go for 1 x upgrade to PRO package; at least look like a n00b when u ride like a n00b.

have bike will travel.

There was this gig last night, largely a acoustic-based theme for the singers other than one or two oddballs. I tend to the bluesy and electric sound of guitars, and after reviewing my music playlist i can safely say i have a consistent taste for music. oddly, my favourites are songs which start with the letter 'S' and I scarcely have female musicians. but my REAL favourites are those where the electric guitars take the stage (or if someone is slappin' the bass). Here are a couple of my favs:

The Bravery - Believe

Pearl Jam - Alive

22-20s - Such a Fool

Eagles of Death Metal - Don't Speak ( I Came to Make a Bang)

i feel much inspired to learn the electric guitar. gotta get my ass out of my chair first though.

It's Never t00 Late

2009-12-10T02:45:00.002+08:00

it's never too late to blog, just as how it's never too early for cheesecake. rum&raisins make my day just as how i make my bed after i get out of it in the morning. i totally dig the sight of crisp bedsheets.

im getting a hang of my routine thus far; i think i've watched enough movies/serials to warrant an eye checkup. beats having to get up to a part-time job everyday, can't have my day spoilt by the incessant alarm ringing into my ears. it's pleasant to be able to plan each day as it begins rather than have to lay out the week before you and 'allocate' your hours by their degrees of priority. dang a certain someone is going to kill if he reads this...

i think the word that is second most overused to 'like' is probably 'nice'. i was skimming through my friendster testimonials (whatever happened to the whole testimonials craze?) and 'nice' kept repeating itself. 'nice' is the most convenient and useless word in the dictionary. it doesnt serve any purpose except for an excuse to kill the conversation pleasantly - 'nice' doesnt sound so nice anymore.

it's a couple of weeks to the new year and i realised it's almost been a year since i ORD-ed. what happened to 2009?? i had spent a considerable amount of time in 2009 1/2 stuffing a triple-sized subway sandwich down throat, and the other 1/2 is just a fog of time. time sure isn't waiting for no one, i wonder what is the rush.

i like to make a good decision. im wholly gratified when the choices i made are validated. contrary to that im outright insulted when i lurk in the failure of my own misjudgement. i don't appreciate it when i've spent a fair amount of time planning my 'route' only to see it 'shoved up my ass'. yea man either things go according to plan or there IS no plan (to flop from).

but the whole concept of de javu and time travel will tell you that there is more than one of everything mate. so if you fail, you could jolly well fail again. sucker.

What a Fine Day

2009-11-03T00:43:00.005+08:00

I just paid my first due fines over the AXS machine hours ago, and it was for an ERP charge i had not paid for along the Nicoll Highway. it was ridiculous really, i simply had not inserted my cashcard entirely into the IU. but what's probably even more ridiculous is what prompted me to pay my fines today; i may be slapped with another fine from today's incident. well it's no big deal really, my IU just read 'Err' when i rode past the gantry so maybe it'd be more lenient than before. my IU has the Monday blues too, wassup with that man.

and folks, that's exactly why Singaporeans will never get sick of Jack Neo's ERP jokes.

Loop the Loop

2009-11-02T01:12:00.002+08:00

I find it terrible that the weekends end sooner than i could catch up with them and before i know it, it's Sunday night and im waiting for the week to end already, again. School could be better but im glad it isnt worse. i just find it uneventful to study so hard to only utilise what you have learnt within the context of examinations solely. I dont feel like im any smarter than i was, but i sure find myself alot less carefree. I do study and read my tutorials but I just thought there'd be more to a tertiary education. at least you dont have to wake up for school at 8 am everyday...wait a minute, i do have to wake up for 8-am lectures wtf.

i feel like a one-man army against the rat-race.

Storytellers

2009-10-25T03:32:00.002+08:00

I think the fun part of blogging is thinking of a good title for each of my posts. I like to make it look random on surface but actually says everything about the post with itself. i remember before, one criteria of my blog skin would be to show the post title to make it complete. sometimes i laugh when i look at my list of posts sorted by their titles; the titles bring back a rush of memories.

I need to spawn some $ soon for a leather jacket and 'water-proof' shoes. i HATE getting wet and having to go on with the day so it's high time i bought a back plan in case of circumstances. i cant outride the rain clouds all the time yea.

i've just watched Coldplay in Storytellers and in this short concert, they give a short background story of each of the songs which they play. it's comforting to know that musicians are still human when they're down-to-earth.in essence, they're all just singing a part of themselves. i think i looped the scientist like 10 times, but it never gets boring. i sometimes do wonder what i'd be like if i had heard this song when it was just released, a different set of memories would have been attached to it. that's what happens when u loop a song incessantly, it gets tied in to your life like a theme song to an episode.

i don't really like to go to school, the thought of it happening again and again for the coming years is frightening really. i wouldn't say that i'm commitment-phobic, but let's just say i wouldn't enjoy looping every semester till 2013.

but yea i guess nobody said it was easy

A slight rain comes, bathed in dawn light

2009-10-17T01:06:00.002+08:00

i like it when it rains. in spite of the pouring of raindrops which pitter patter on your window to a crescendo that may startle some, I on the other hand am soothed by it. sadly what can work for you, can work against you too. i was sorely greeted by HEAVY rain en route to school this morning, and i dont know how else to put it but when you're going at 80km/h on a bike and it rains, the raindrops feel like FUCKING BULLETS that STING YOU TO DEATH till u seek DAMN SHELTER. drenched in a downpour (on a highway) without shelter in sight ranks among my Top Ten most Depressing Shits that can happen to you. it's possibly 10 x more demoralizing than losing Torres to injury, but not as bad as seeing Lucas work his ass off to naught.

so I simply waited out at a bus stop on West Coast Misery Road till the rain subsided. I had to go solo lecture with Multiple Integrals as i waited for my socks to dry, but in the end my wrinkled feet were salvaged by mh's Thai socks. dang it's time like this i realise the importance of investing in a raincoat, though im still very discouraged to ride if the road is wet. at least i won't look half bad if i get a badass leather one |) *sponsors are deeply appreciated*

the other day i happened to be with Hanlong's friend whose crush 'happened' to walk by and this ignited a flurry of emotions followed up by disappointment. she was saddened by his smoking habits but that isn't what i wish to speak on. i feel she's probably waiting for the right moment to seize the opportunity and 'grab her kill', but i realise there is no 'right time'. you shouldn't need the 'right time' or a 'chance' to succeed. simply if the other party has feelings for you, ANYTIME is the 'right time' eh? Okay so your efforts appear more polished if u plan ahead, but if that's what u need to work it out, then anything less would make u feel insecure. and dang insecurity may cause your efforts to backfire entirely in the long run. I only say this because i believe a relationship is the only way you'll really know who you love is what you desire for in the long-term once she realises she no longer has any reason to hold back. That's probably why break-ups are the few perfect things in this world, as my friend has quoted before.

But in the end, who does not want to cherish a good memory worthy of speaking in times of despair?

Gravity Pulls on You and I

2009-10-14T23:37:00.002+08:00

I just found my indie cheezcake bistro over the weekend. you dont need 5-Michelin-stars fantastic food or a attentive and punctual service crew. rather all you need is a name hard enough to pronounce on a road less than 5 people in Singapore have googled for. surplus of lobo seats is always a plus point too =)

i just finished my first programming tutorial cos it's my turn to present in class. hope i manage to smoke everyone and appear like i know what i'm doing, cos seriously programming has been quite a bummer this season. i have not been practising diligently as my other fellow programmers have, but the light is not so dim in this tunnel of turmoil as i had expected so all i need to do is 1 x last good one when it's Showtime!

i've clocked 3 months of road time with my bike already, and so far it's been pretty smooth. i realise it takes much effort to persuade me to take the public transport now, as a bike is indeed the ultimate tool of convenience. i've a bad habit of thinking i get anywhere in 10 mins, and true enough on a good day i can. i plan to buy myself a ducati in the future when i get a paycheck i can actually spend at the present, but that looks like a long road ahead.

speaking of spending, my mother has this warped logic of saving by spending. she proclaims that if she doesnt buy something that is on a discount, she wouldnt GET to save on that discount. now i've heard plenty of warped logics thus far, but dang my mother is spinning her own tales in her own world.

i guess everyone has their own gravity to draw to.

There Are Unknown Unknowns

2009-10-06T11:23:00.002+08:00

So i did remember my blog's username and password. guess some things are just not lost in memory, for better or worse.

i think it's better to keep my entries short and sweet so that i wont be discouraged to write all the time nor discourage others to read as well. i've lost any sense of coherence after the many months of absence too, at least my greymar and sparelling is not fail me.

my recess week blew past just like that, it was a blackhole of time really. before i knew it, i was reading my tutorials on a very late sunday night. i still have this 'e-learning' week to salvage my homework if my backlog doesnt overshadow me entirely. or is it just the looming dark clouds...

it finally struck me that mexcel is off this craphole island(for better or worse?) when i had this hesistation to ask him out for soccer on sunday night. there wouldn't be a resposnes yea. so i ended up watching the game at the new 24hr coffeeshop with this random 'bangla' worker as i ate beef rice. the atmosphere was pretty muted for a coffeeshop, but i guess there werent many punters in the crowd. at least meiji milk saved the day as i trudged home thereafter.

dang sunday night sure arent the same anymore. bye bye mexy.

there goes the banana

2009-06-17T23:27:00.002+08:00

im out of subway and into nus prematurely for my new admin job today. it was everything i thought it would be and less, at least i had someone to render assistance given my newbie ways. i'd never expect myself to land myself such a appointment but anything goes when your bank balance is going anywhere but up. F&B is 'fun' and all yeah, but when the floor is filled with spilled diet coke or when you're at the mercy of a ruthless customer, what else can you do but say 'dang'.

dang this semi-retirement period is coming to a halt soon enough and i'm not looking forward to my 'next phase in life'. nothing really is great when chris martin is telling you 'nobody said it was easy'. the only thing easy is admitting that it's harder than you thought. well i wonder who is going to care for me when i pity others.

i don't need to feel sad to be sad, cos i know right now nothing makes it right.

My Personality Report

2009-05-09T11:51:00.005+08:00

Putting in a lot of effort to meet the demands of work is not Mr Li's preference. He does not like to rush around doing things and may feel demotivated if work constantly encroaches on his personal life. Although he does not like excessive work demands, Mr Li may still be prepared to put in extra effort if it is on a short term basis.

Mr Li is relatively dependable to deliver results on time. He may sometimes be late in meeting deadlines.

Mr Li initiates plans and ideas easily but may not persist with the tasks until completion. He is prepared to leave tasks unfinished; hence he may prefer short-term assignments as he is more likely to complete these tasks. He may lose interest and focus when working on long term assignments.

Mr Li is able to produce work that is moderately high in quality but he may at times be careless.

Mr Li is generally objective but may at times be emotional.

Mr Li is sympathetic and considerate towards others. He is also likely to be tolerant, understanding and forgiving. Mr Li lends support and offers help readily. He often lends a listening ear to others and is concerned about their welfare. He is also charitable.

Mr Li is friendly and outgoing when he is with friends although he may at times prefer to be quiet.

Mr Li is the sort of person who forms long term bonds and attachments. He is faithful, trustworthy, and devoted in such relationships. He tends to be trusting, dedicated and protective towards those he loves. Patriotism and sense of duty is a significant aspect of his character.

Mr Li is moderately serious about his responsibilities and selectively takes ownership of his work.

Mr Li is concerned with position and status. He cares about how people view him. Prestige, quality, rank and reputation are important to him. He is likely to be brand-conscious and would attach significance to status symbols. He takes pride in his appearance.

Mr Li sees people as friendly, reliable and honest. He is trusting and believes what people say. He tends to be unsuspecting of people.s behaviour and motives. He is uncomfortable when he has to wheel and deal.

A good supporter to the people around him, Mr Li does not desire to lead or influence people. He is uncomfortable taking charge and does not feel the thrill of challenge in leading others. He prefers to responds rather than initiate. He looks to others to provide direction and does not naturally want to persuade or motivate others to take a certain course of action.

Intellectual matters do not interest Mr Li. He is more concerned with practical issues than abstract theories. Mr Li prefers to talk about useful and workable solutions than discuss hypotheses and concepts. He is more likely to build on ideas rather than generate them.

Being less inclined to plan, Mr Li has the tendency to be disorganized, unsystematic and reactive to the situation. He may waste time and effort because he may end up having to rework his tasks due to lack of planning.

Mr Li is generally able to express himself although not to a high degree of eloquence.

At least this makes more sense than a Facebook quiz.

Fade Away

2009-05-03T16:49:00.003+08:00

sometimes you dont know how dead tired u are till u start fading in and out of sleep on the bus home past midnight. today is one of the few sundays where i actually just hang out at home, although i had already slept away the morning and half the afternoon.

work@subway has been a drag lately, guess i've finally realised how badass it is to work and serve for 8 hrs a day. i wouldnt say it's unbearable, but i wouldn't want to pursue it any longer. hope clarence has got some good lobang at nus, i need a switch in workplace soon.

i'm only writing this away after being prompted by o_O to post something. but sadly my life in general isn't as adrenaline-pumping as wolverine's so i'm running out of things to say. the purpose for a blog is so dodgy, moreover with twitter now we're so desperately hungry for quick intel.

well ManU has a stab at making it to the finals but i hope the Gunners have a trick or two up their sleeves.

Eat Fresh

2009-03-13T10:18:00.001+08:00

Whatever happened to blogging?

Cheese and Toast? Toasted with Cheese?

2009-02-25T18:52:00.002+08:00

just got my first pay from subway. now i've to learn to be more prudent with my spending, although im still splashing my money onto UFO catcher. you may hear all that talk about how money is not the only thing in the world, how it is the root of all evil. i'll admit money is not entirely important, but it sure as hell is significant. im banking on 4D and soccer betting to bring in the extra dough which is probably enough only to pay random cab fares. hope i dont fuck up my next 10 years.

i sometimes forget that i still have 4 years of schooling to do, i just get lost in my subway routine day after day. i wonder how those full-time subway peeps or white-collared workers i serve daily pull it off: dragging themselves to work and back home. they may work like dogs but i sincerely have respect for them. still, it's better to be the guy in front of the counter than behind it yea.

if there's anything i've learnt from working at subway, it's that smile and the world might just smile back at you. i realise my eyes are practically non-existent when i smile though...

Honey Mustard Please!

2009-01-21T21:41:00.002+08:00

started off my 1st day at subway. work didnt seem like a drag since the lunchtime rush hour fitted nicely into my shift. time flies like an F-16 during this period, it's just make and go. Go. GO. I was thrusted into counter duty (which included making sandwiches and wrapping them up) immediately given the respawning queue, and im sure i made or wrapped one, two or more sandwiches horribly. no matter, i have my trainee badge to cover up for it =)

did attempt some conscientious CNY shopping just now with the dudes through marina sq and raffles city. im not a fan of the tradition of buying CNY clothes but i needed one long sleeve for the coming Big Date and DND, so i've decided to get one from springfield. Zara and Topman subtlely discriminate against horizontally-challenged personeels with their Super Slim Fit shirts or Super Skinny Jeans. im one size too large for their clothes; my nipples will unwelcomely burst out of the shirts.
truly, sadly.
truly sad.

so im left with springfield, which coincidentally ran out of medium sized shirts. hence i have the luxury of delaying my cny shopping till furthe notice, unlike the other dudes who have the added worry of finding a shirt incorrect of their size. the other dudes include clarence chong mexcel lee meng hwee chew and every other person in Singapore who can casually fit into a TopmanZara shirt.

There's a Boy who really Hurts

2009-01-12T14:25:00.004+08:00

i had dozed off halfway through the Man Utd Chelsea match. no offence to the game though, i was simply too comfortable too tired to last through the 2nd half. i was awake for the 1st goal, woken up by the 2nd and was half-asleep through the last. Only one was left standing (or siting), and that was the Alien. wonder what teh-peng he drank, must have been a mix of teh and red bull.

a very unproductive start to the new year, not that it matters to me. at least i can say im familiar with facebook now, after watching a couple of Steven Lim videos and creating a pet on Pet Society. pardon my very androygenous-looking pet, but i guess im unfamiliar with the ways of dressing it gender-coherently. Here's how it actually turned out ->
i don't know what a monster i have created. the clothes sure don't help either.

my month of chillin' out is going to end on the 20th when i start on my subway phase of life. f&b is the shit, literally. haven't heard of anyone saying nice things about working in this industry sadly. i'm not so much for the money, so i'll take each day as it is.

i realised i have not shaved so regularly in the army as i have now. the gf simply doesnt like the whole scruffy look, gets in the way when we're smooching. but no matter hard i can try, some things will still get in the way.

LCP Li No More

2009-01-02T11:30:00.003+08:00

I'm starting the new year as a pudgier Mr Li; no longer the dark brooding LCP Li. i realise that by looking forward to movie release dates, it has helped to make NS fly by. but i doubt that is how i would like to see to the end of every month, so i'll have to set a new target. maybe by paydays? why do we even have to countdown to something? it makes our life seem so unbearable.

1 hr to 2009 and i was on the train back home. why wasnt i like the other kids who love to party to dawn and drink to their hearts' content? alcohol is probably the oldest legal drug around, and i've barely gotten tipsy before. it's not that i mind getting drunk whatsoever, but just as how some people might find soccer just anothe ball game and are ignorant of what the fuss may be, i may just see alcohol that way. sad, but true. besides i dont have anyone to give me a ride home if i'm too deadDRUNK, unlike this lucky chap here.

if I really do need to have a new year resolution...
it'd be to cut down on cheese. you see, to me it isnt just food; it's a damn drug. i just must get something with cheese on the menu, and the problem is that it seldom disappoints.
i wana get my bike license done as well, been stalling on it for far too long already.
lastly, maintain healthy relationships throughout.

and just in case you are wondering if Pretty Girls do Fart, here're some people to bust the myth.

Do Pretty Girls Fart?

Land of the DOM

2008-12-26T09:25:00.003+08:00

After much discussion and half-hesitation (and a pretty unproductive PW-like meeting), we are finally going off to batam. sometimes i felt when we were planning for it, we were discussing as if batam was another district in Singapore. now we know planning goes a long way; overrated but necessary.

Everyone suspects a calamity will befall on us during this impromptu trip, but im sure the worst has already happened since most of us have ORD. as much as i have said NO to the hookers, im quite intrigued by how it all happens at night in batam. we'll be like 5 freshmen (virgin fresh) constantly hampered by the 'old birds' of the territory as we walk down the street. now that i've said it, it'll does sound awkward.

all we need is a tour guide. hope i dont bump into some adult whom i recognise, that'll be doubly awkward =l

Memento

2008-12-12T19:34:00.002+08:00

No more Sunday night book in.

LAMO FATSO

2008-12-04T11:31:00.002+08:00

It's so much easier to be retarded. As in completely lose yourself in absolute retarded-ness. At least you know you are not the only one around.

As It Began, As It Ends

2008-11-30T02:50:00.002+08:00

So Ex Complete-Waste-Of-time has ended. The army can be so neat, truly prim and proper. The battle had already been won even before it started, literally. these 2 weeks have dragged by, and the next 2 will breeze by before it's back to life. a life. these 2 years will just be a dream i going to wake up from on 12th DEC, and i'll probably be slipping into another one after that. where did the 2 years go i'll never know.

i was blog hopping and saw this video of the jonas brothers doing a cover on John Mayer's Gravity, trying to be all blues and soul.

Gravity - Jonas Brothers Cover

and while i was youtubing i found a gem of Travis doing a cover too. Only that it's one of Britney Spears's Hit Me Baby One More Time

Hit Me Baby One More Time - Travis Cover

Just as how Travis took out all the cheese from the pop song to possibly make 100 servings of cheese fries, The Jonas Brothers had squeezed every bit of soul from the very feeling song of John Mayer, enough to make a cemetery out of it all.

Gosh help us all.

傻瓜

2008-11-23T10:10:00.000+08:00

i'm such a fuckin' idiot.

Ex ORD

2008-11-14T22:53:00.002+08:00

Brutal. That's all i can say about the upcoming Ex Switchblade which is certainly my last before i'm no longer a part of the 'swift and decisive' force. Just as how i had began my 2 years of service with a 2 week confinement on Tekong, i'm about to end it with a 2 week confinement in PLC. talk about dramatic timing. at least i'll have plenty of time left to look back on the 2 years and weigh it's positive and negative contributions to my absolutely stalemate life. sad to say, not all of us have a life as exciting as any of the 11 men on the Bolton team, where every week is a fight for survival, if not personal pride. I say Bolton are the real SAF.

On one of my downer moments last week, i was thinking how grief or anguish at times can be as cheap as scoring 5 marks short of a perfect score on a test paper or having more acne than your peers to being as vivid as a failed marriage of 20 years or being discarded by your family for having contracted the fatal illness AIDS. i sort of detest the people who cheapen the value of misery for their own selfish reasons, just because sympathy is the next best thing. should feeling sad be an absolute or relative emotion? for everyone's own convenience, we each decide our own scale of sorrow,which isn't so much of a bad thing. it's like youtube; everyone on the freakin' web shares his or her own experience with every other he or she who wishes to watch. so you get a wide variety of material that may be somewhat personal. but as a result of the accessibility of the net, every cow monkey donkey who has a handphone camera or video camera gets their 3 minutes of fame online. so with the amount of quantity comes with an even wider scale of quality.

the internet might have just damned us all.

Mission: Difficult

2008-11-02T13:13:00.004+08:00

i've just sat through 2/3 of the Mission: Impossible trilogy and i'd pick II over III as 'Tom Cruise sizzles in a blast of thrills and suspense'. there's something abt an emo agent that i dont dig, which is plenty in III. Ethan Hunt was just one-badass carnage in II, shooting and blowing things up like fireworks. the F4-like hairstyle made him look less ordinary too. i handpicked one badass scene from II where Hunt displays his carnage-ness. but seriously i just like the last 20 secs of the clip when the M:I theme break outs.

Badass Hunt

Truth Is...I Am Ordinary

2008-10-31T22:20:00.002+08:00

i've been wanting to blog lately, but life has been the same old. so i decided not to bore you or me with the musings of someone leading a pretty much mundane life. ah, but Liverpool's (fluke) win over Chelsea last weekend has prompted me to mention it, and in truth it was a borecore match with efficient defending and luck. whatever dude, Glory Glory Liverpool BITCH!

my period of 'holiday' has come to a close and it's back to a full month of NS for me. of course what's another month after 22 (HOLYSHIT it's been 22 ALREADY?!?!) so-so gruelling months you'd say? after tasting the sweetness of Civi Life for more than the usual 2 days straight in a week, i'd say 1 more month is terrible. terrible terrible tourture; like that you'd see in the saw series, only WORSE...at least psycholigically. but i'll pull through and who knows? before i know it Civi Life might not be so sweet.

ARGH who am i kidding?? I can't wait to revel in LVPOOL's dominance week after week(esp over ARSENAL) until they're humbled by the mighty HULL CITY.

ARGH who am i kidding??? to last 38++ games, a team needs 'legendary grit and determination'. i say Bolton are the only Wonderers.

my music taste has more or less settled for alt rock. of course i dig the occassional jason mraz rap or oasis arena rock, but it's easier to look for music you like when you, well, know what you like. so my latest squeeze would be Travis, of which is 'U16 Girl'.

U16 Girl - Travis

can you dig it?

Birthdays Present For You

2008-10-03T20:58:00.005+08:00

just got a pretty dubious birthday present for meng hwee and a 'disturbing' one for pamela. seriously, getting presents for anyone should have never been so formal. i believe in open concept; screw surprises. you are surprised for the first 5 seconds and probably disappointed for the rest. we shld all just head down to toy'R'us and pick one.

im on some serious leave now, planned it such that i spend more time at home than i do in camp for the month of october. of course by 'more time at home', i'll probably just be spending lots of quality time with the GF, but love it altogether. and it's true, it's not easy to balance the GF and non-GF stuff, but the trick is not to try too hard la. so far so good though, im still in one piece in one place at one time.

had lunch with pamela today at nydc, havent seen nor spoken to her in a long LONG while. she looks stressed as hell, and sadly it's only about school. im not looking forward to carrying a laptop around and be 'student-ish' all over again. the late night projects, long transport times, peer pressure (this time from both genders). yea school fun FUN for EVERYONE! kudos to pamela for looking less of a panda in spite of her irregular(close to none) sleeping hours. but i guess there nothing a FACIAL(not the one you're thinking of,clarence) can't fix!

To Clarence:
Take all your chances while you can
You never know when they'll pass you by

To Mexcel:
Bolton Wonderers

To Wingtai:
WT pwns Chuck

To Pamela:
Choice

To Clarence Again:
The Moment

To Jiawen:
=)

Happy 3rd Oct to everyone.

Better Man - James Morrison

2008-09-20T11:54:00.000+08:00

There was a time
I had nothing to give
I needed shelter from the storm I was in
And when it all got too heavy
You carried my weight
And I want to hold you
And I want to say

That you are all that I need
For you, I give my soul to keep
You see me, love me
Just the way I am
For you I am a better man
I said you are the reason
For everything that I do
I'd be lost, so lost, without you

Under the stars
At the edge of the sea
There's no one around
No one but you and me
We'd talk for hours
As time drifts away
I could stay here for ever
And hold you this way

ManU lost; Everyone else won

2008-09-14T03:50:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, nothing could go wrong. and nothing did. i wish i could say the same for every other day, but that would take away the fun of living each and every one of them, so wad da hell.

Started off with charmaine's bday. So the plans didn't turn out like how we'd figure them to have but that's the thing about plans: they seldom do. i wouldn't say it turned out to be a disaster because in the end, she did eat a cake(blueberry) and got a present(wallet). in the midst of all that was random chatter that was nostalgic at times and pretty much juvenile at the rest. but all fun and haha if you ask me.

but of course, the main event of the evening which even left me to change my guard duty would be to watch liverpool beat the crap out of manu at chijmes's harry's bar. oh, nad soccer wouldnt be complete without good food and company, which clarence obliged to see to it that both were well taken cared of. it was my first time at harry's bar and lvpool hysterity(?) was the main course for that night. of course it was an experience to savour but im too old for this shit already, let's not bring up about school orientation. while it's widely celebrated to jeer and cheer for every little thing that happens on/off the pitch, i'd rather keep it on a low on normal occassions. i mean seriously, every one in there was like some freakin' energizer bunny. but liverpool won, and that made my night.

i can't deal with angry people, and it's very much due to my sense of practicality. i seldom get people miffed, but when i do i can't undo it. sometimes i don't know if im bad at playing this game or i'm lazy to simply do. for someone like me who likes to talk, i can be rather quiet when i want to be.

when i want to be.

Happy Day #104

2008-08-24T16:37:00.002+08:00

At Carl's Jr yesterday, a group of 'fresh' NS boys were minding their own beeswax, downing those venti burgers with senseless chitter chatter; absolutely reminded me of us last year. poor lost souls who frequented PS's or Suntec's Carl's Jr on weekends...till we got sick of it eventually.
same old burgers; different old people.

so i ended up as waterpoint for this year's AHM. had to nua at our waterpoint site for the entire early morning before the run. i somehow managed to sleep the cold and buzzing traffic off as i was dead tired. when the run finally started, we were trying to octopuse our way around with the 2 god-gifted hands we hand. when the 100 plus mayhem subsided, i really wondered to myself
1) whether Excused personeels would really be up to the task. even for me it was taxing enough, although granted im not physically conditioned like that of a IPPT silver medalist
2) who in his/her right mind decides to rise and shine early on a sunday morning to run and sweat and run somemore.

during one of my smoking sessions with Andrew at the smoking point (i don't smoke), we were talking about the power of words, or rather lack thereof. words alone can explain a situation to a certain extent, but i doubt you'll be able to truly empathise with the situation merely through words. sadly, words do take away that spark of the moment. maybe we are hindered by the limited vocabulary that exists. or we simply lack the gift to entirely express ourselves. we can see what others see, or smell what others smell. but we certainly are unable to feel what others feel, which leave us with a raw sense of touch. hence sometimes we may listen to a song, pay no attention to the lyrics and yet feel some sort of emotion. and by that, im not referring to 'emo' songs. this motion stems from my curiousity with regards to the lyrics of a song. it goes like this...

This is the sound that I make
These are the words I chose
Somehow the right thing to say
Just wont come out
Just wont come out

Or maybe, it works better if you hear it yourself.

Could I Be You - Matchbox 20

it may have been pouring from the clouds endlessly for the entire afternoon today, but im happy on this day.
Day #104.

Nice people never Last

2008-08-09T11:21:00.003+08:00

My best friend is someone i only see on the weekends.
My good friend is smarter than me.
My girl friend studies in Boon Lay.

My good friend did say that I'm a very humane person; down side is that good people can't survive for long in this world. being selfish may be an undesirable trait, but necessary to last long in the rat race. i know that i'll never make it big in some way or the other if i am how i am now still. i'm just not cunning or ruthless enough, which i've seen plenty in many others. honestly, i have nothing against 'bad' people, but the world has too many of them.

maybe i am just plain cranky because i had range yesterday and guard duty tml. of course it is easy to say that it seems unfair, but i dont know if my indifference is a result of my laziness or acceptance of the fact that fairness doesnt truly exist.

but all the supposedly intellect stuff above goes down the drain once i introduce you to the LOVE Calculator.

'Does you love add up? Ask the Love Calculator'

Give Me Something To Believe

2008-07-10T19:59:00.004+08:00

just in case this post disappoints in entertainment value, you can read up on a certain hamburger university. should spark hope in those McDonalds enthusiasts, few and far in the crowd.

the peeps/ord-mates have returned from their tedious ordeal as Ops Vigilant Lions and this week has been nothing short of draggy and painful (not to forget noisy again). the company is comforting, but the peace of solidarity is somewhat more akin to my liking. it's really not easy to find some time to you and yourself unless by chance or choice due to a series of occurrences. i do savour a good 'communication', but to have a peace of mind and time is like gold right now.

you know, it's difficult enough that we have to keep our sanity and wit intact through these 2 years, but if we have to succumb to watching beach.ball.babes as a choice of free visual entertainment then damn it i say we are doomed. the show is bad. as in BAD. VERY BAD. for a title like beach.ball.babes, there is certainly very few of the above. it should be bitch.ball.babe. jessica liu is a absolute bitch, a ball does appear in every episode and joanne peh is the only decent babe. BUT worst of all, the plot seems like it has been conjured up by 3rd-rate scriptwriters who seriously have stooped low enough to impress the average Singaporean. Regardless of what i have said, the tried-and-tested formula of 'babes-in-bikinis' definitely works on nsfs, single or not. shame on us, we need some sense of quality control around here.

Is It Real?
Neo probably never got an answer to that even at the end of the trilogy, so i highly doubt i'll arrive at one too soon either. actually the world is in such a mess because of its mix of the Reals and the Fakes. there brings about the dilemma of trusting which (or whom). a unanimous agreement should be brought about to conclude if simply we should all be Reals or Fakes. the latter option seems more viable though since we can never be too trusting nor forgiving, unless you choose to be forgetful too then that solves plenty of your problems.

i feel for people who need friends.

Right is neither Wrong nor Left

2008-06-29T10:58:00.002+08:00

I don't mind when i am in the wrong and people are right.

I do mind when people expect me to be right and to do it right.
Now that is wrong.

Is it so not right to be so wrong? or is a man justified by his right-fulness?

If everyone could just relax, the world would feel a little lighter.

I Do Like Magic

2008-06-15T19:51:00.002+08:00

Finally got to watch euro08 with the guys on fri at a very random Mac at queensway. i surprised myself by staying awake for both games and still be able to talk sensibly until i was on the bus home. fortunately it wasn't a terrible waste of time and hopefully i'll be able to make it for next friday's matches too. well i was also surprised km could stay awake (or so it seemed) for the entire night although initially i was highly doubtful of it. still, surprise surprise.

found a nice chill-out spot at cheesecake cafe near siglap centre. didn't expect it to be so comfy with the couches; looks like a decent place to relac with the dudes the next time. i dont mind tcc though, but they dont sell better cheesecakes.

I Do Like Magic. certainly don't mind seeing some of it every month, but it won't be easy trying to outdo each other every time. regardless, it's entertaining.

lastly, life sure works on a balance.

So They Say

2008-06-06T11:16:00.002+08:00

it has been 2 weeks of alternate day duties. this week wasn't too bad though since we get to book out for a day after our duty, but the to-and-fro travel takes a toll on you after a while. makes me wonder how this bugger manages to do it on a daily basis, but pros and cons. PROs and CONs.

ever since i've been back from taiwan, there have been many fresh faces in camp which strike me with nostalgia. where has the year gone to? i'm not exactly a man of sentiment but i cant help but wonder what have i done so far...well for at least 10 seconds before i realise im still in the army and who really cares. Who Really Cares?

sometimes i think i talk too much; sometimes i think i speak too little. actions speak louder than words while a picture paints a thousand words, so that really shows how invaluable words can be. i like to talk, but i used to reprimanded by the phrase 'empty barrels make the most noise'. i wouldn't like to know that what i say is actually noise, because personally im not a fan of noise (and crowds), but maybe i should be more watchful. Extreme is right though, cos 'More than words is all you have to do to make it real'. well, whatever that really means.

No Acquiesce

2008-06-01T19:45:00.006+08:00

i am quite certain i do not get overwhelmed by the rash emotion 'anger' as much as most other normal people do. as to whether that is a cause for concern is not so much the issue now. i get over 'anger' immediately, right after the consequences of throwing it around is played through my mind like a scene from a film. many argue it's supposed to make you feel better, but it's more than about me.

instead, i feel 'sad'. or disappointed disheartened dashed dismayed. right now im not sure myself if how i feel is an under-reaction or an over-reaction. at fault may be my consistent indifference to my surroundings and BIG LIFE ISSUES that i only pay detailed attention to the smaller matters in our everyday lives. people want cars money houses status power. i want to just live...or at least drift for now, since at 20 you cant really admit that you're living.

but really, i am not angry; just a bit frustrated. by the time you've read till here, I'll be Eric again.

Block Leave Over and Out

2008-05-19T19:40:00.003+08:00

This block leave has been an eventful one. However at the end of it i must admit i'm rather drained. it sure as hell has been a roller coaster of emotions, but fruitful at the end. i did manage to catch 4 movies in 2 weeks, almost making it 5 had it not been for my last minute pangseh. i seriously hate the local weather now, with it being hot and humid. but the comfort of knowing where you are and what to do is gratifying, although wandering in taiwan wasn't so bad.

i'm going to miss being in control of my time and the freedom of space, but as of now it's less than 7 months to go.

i never knew it would have taken so long,
but its nice today,
oh the wait was so worth it.

Wednesday

2008-05-14T10:35:00.000+08:00

This wednesday morning sure feels different.

Life is Weird

2008-05-11T19:22:00.001+08:00

Life sure works in mysterious ways. When we wish to do the things we love or have a passion for, society has a habit of denying us a smooth journey to the end. More than often things don't really work out in the end. We think we are happy with what we're left with but who really knows? We pray for HIS blessings but if JC had to answer every one of his earthlings' prayers, HE'd have no time to send the real sinners back to hell.

speaking of hell, i do wonder what heaven will be like. supposedly a land of bliss where you're stripped of your worldly displeasures and insecurities. in a way, that will make us very boring people, not that we're exactly people anymore. to attain eternal bliss sounds rewarding to many, but like they say too much of a good thing is a bad thing. doesn't hurt to have a house party once in a while to illuminate the sinners among the angels.

more importantly though, what sort of heaven will exist for the rest of us non-believers? some of us sinners may have already seen the reaper coming for them and still remain nonchalant about it, but i do wonder what happens after we take that long sleep goodbye. i don't want to think that our good doings are only rewarded if we dutifully have faith in HIM, but if that's truly the case, i'd rather place my blind faith somewhere else. it's disheartening to hear that the believers need the hanging carrot to lead them the way, but that might be all that's distracting them from the reality of it all. Heaven should really just be a place on Earth.

Ex. HighNoon #1

2008-05-09T08:44:00.002+08:00

27/4 7.32am JNJB

It's 7.32 in the morning and I've awoken from my slumber. Much earlier than the rest, not that I really need the sleep given my daily routine for the past 8-9 days. But I'm awake, and i can't sleep.

Exercise started on the 18th, and all i could wish for that day was that it's already the 30th. It isn't so much about the inconvenience or the hygiene or even the discomfort of improper rations. I fear boredom. Very much. It only hurts less because i'm wasting time along with everyone else. After 9 days out of camp, i'm starting to have 2nd thoughts about it being a waste of time. Aside from the setting up and fighting link for hours and hours straight, I've done and seen things i doubt i'll ever do or see in Singapore. I may not have seen the hustle and bustle of Taiwan and its many beauties ( you know what i mean), but just so you know i had to drive a horrible 6 hours simply to reach our deployment ground. It was like a road trip, with the many rest stops in between and the clutter of food we had on our dashboard. The sightseeing from town to town, drawing curious stares onto our convoy of vehicles. When we got to Hu Tou Shan, we didn't get to appreciate its beauty till into the night. we may have had only been 250m above sea level, but it was enough to savour the vastness of the towns, roads and hills below. It was a picture perfect moment. It was perfect. We've only been finding things to do to fill up the void ever since, and i'll say we're doing fine.

It can be as simple as playing bomberman or chatting late into the night to seeing random fireworks. adding to that, i'll never forget our 'Little Angel'. Very often my hours to lunch are a blur, nothing a good meal can't fix though. Honestly, my 1 1/2 years so far have been a blur. Ever since i've landed in Taiwan, everyday feels the same; like i'm still stuck in Wednesday. Everyday is simply a day; the distinct difference between a weekday and weekend was lost the moment i stepped into Meilin Camp. To this day it still feels like a very long week to me. But who am I to complain, when everyday in Singapore has pretty much been the same since i enlisted. While only varying in degrees of pain and insanity, it has stabilised as of late. My weekends have been as routine as my weekdays. I don't put much thought into how my time has to be utilised. Simply said, i'm wasting time as well. While I'll admit that this Taiwan trip won't change much of anything, I don't expect my life to change just because I can change it. I neither like nor dislike how I'm living now; i'm just comfortable. It takes a decent amout of effort to find one's comfort zone, but even more to live out of it.

To say that the army has been a waste of time may be too harsh on my part. Granted, i've wasted time in the army, but these two years have helped given me a break from my life, or living for that matter. I may have grown more distant from society, but definitely not from myself. Heaven knows, I may have even found a GirlFriend by now had it not been for the army. Still, i know i'll be in no position to look after her. I'll be the same old Eric as i was in JC. Indifferent, materialistic, clueless and shallow. I was too happy-go-lucky, so much so that i was oblivious to my surroundings. I was very unaware, impaired by my own ego. I was one idiot.

While I am in no good position to have a GirlFriend now given my prior commitments, i doubt i'll ever be ready. how can you prepare for something as volatile as emotions? Logic may put reason into the picture, but we should never undermine feel. I don't want it to be 2 robots in a relationship, as much as i don't want it to be 2 puppies in love. I want her to live the moment with me, and still feel safe from the fact that we are able to look after each other. I want her to be happy being with me, and yet still be happy without me. I don't want her to be overwhelmed by her daily routines and fall into the trap of monotony. I'd appreciate it if she could take some time off to do mindless mundane things with me simply because we need a breather from working and that we are spending time with each other just so we can spend time with each other. What i really want for a GirlFriend is a Good Friend.

I'm Weird, You're Not

2008-04-07T16:47:00.003+08:00

sometimes i think i'm the weird one, and that everyone else is normal.

Ice Cream Issues

2008-04-07T09:28:00.004+08:00

you'd think only he could do it. i've been wronged.

It's Time

2008-04-07T08:45:00.005+08:00

In approximately 46 hrs i would have booked into taiwan. Everyone has been telling me without hesitation that taiwan is fun. maybe they had forgotten that i was there as a civil servant. nevertheless, just as everyone has said that '2 years very fast one lah', I'll just have to take everything with a pinch of salt. i'm not too bothered by the fact that i'm leaving the country for a month, nor am i put off by the fact that i'll be atop some random mountain for 2 weeks. i just hope time flies like arrows, just like how fruit flies like bananas. get it?

It's the same for all block leaves. just as you're getting comfortable with that pace of life, you're called back to serve the nation. i could have had a 2 week break had it not been for my earlier flight. it has been a fruitful time off for me though. like how i've realised there isn't an mrt station between buona vista and commonwealth. the 'gang' and I have finally tried the sizzler at suntec too, and it's much more overwhelming than i thought it'd be. i also got to watch my 1st champs league game last wed. in between all of that is of course all the usual mundane stuff like watching dvds, listening to more oasis and eating alot of food. food really is one of the simplest and more convenient pleasures in life, but i may be taking it too seriously though. still, I'm happy as hell when i eat so who cares? actually i was wondering: who would think twice 1st when eating? a thin or fat person? the thin person would want to maintain his/her figure, while the fat person wouldn't want to make his/her health worse, as bad as it already is. i'm slightly grateful to be borne to a family w/o religion and special diets. I've seen how my vege friend has a hard time looking for decent food, and more than half the time he's not eating a balanced diet. but it's just me maybe.

right now I've no qualms leaving the country, I've done all i could or should. I'm rather bothered by the fact that people are so serious though. if everyone could be just cool, shit wouldn't get too out of hand. we should stop playing games and cut to the chase. of course honesty is a virtue many of us have lost or simply lack, but we should still do it with a bit of finesse. it's a fine thin line between honesty and sensitivity, but it sure is a dilemma for both to go hand in hand. actually I'm being rather selfish and rude by saying this, cos I'm sort of insulting what other people take seriously. i just hope everything will still be cool when I'm back.

when I'm back in a month's time.

The Journey Home

2008-04-01T18:15:00.002+08:00

Went to camp to finish up the admin stuff for the 9th flight. it was arduous work to make full use of every nook and cranny in the duffel bag to put my fbo and other miscellaneous items. but it was nothing any kicking, pushing, squeezing couldn't solve. the admin briefing took hours too long, but we were let in on how our beloved RSM had spent his R&R 15 years ago. He's one horny old wanker.

BOTTOMLINE: I will be a good boy in taiwan.

On my way home, had this studious-looking guy who sat by me. He was scanning through some math notes on matrices if memory serves me right. Ah. Hmph. Gone are the days of train studying, a very useful technique applied by lazy buggers who deny themselves the pain of revising at home. there are too many anxious people in JCs. this 1 1/2 years took it all away, maybe too much away. but it sure returned the favour by giving me something: stupidity. i can't count bills anymore. i get tongue tied speaking english, least not say chinese. i took a record-breaking effort and time to figure out what fuzzy wuzzy likes. sometimes i think time moves faster than i do. or maybe it's the pace i walk at. sadly in another 1 1/2 years i'll be gearing for Uni. i know that i'm not cut out for Uni, i don't do pressure. between aimlessly wandering in the job market with a A'level cert vs. struggling in Uni...i need a 3rd option.

I need to be myself
I can't be no one else
I'm feeling supersonic

Fresh Oranges

2008-03-29T10:05:00.002+08:00

So the joke goes as folllows. the instructor was telling us that we could 'FO' by say 6pm. so we hahaha and said 'Fuck Off!' which in the army's context would have been the most appropriate answer. but he went 'NNOOO!' so we decided to take the less vulgar reponse 'Fall Out'. to our utmost surprise, he went 'NNOOO!' once again and this time we were left stumped. so what was 'FO'?

FRESH ORANGES

what followed after was 30 secs of awkward silence and unnatural laughter. this probably ranks as one of my top 10 most awkward moments. i swear i never saw it coming.

the weather is insane and going to be insane in Taiwan too. supposedly it's the transition stage between seasons in Taiwan now, so we'll be experiencing some rather drastic changes in climate regularly over the next 1 month. coupled up with 2 weeks in the wilderness and 2 weeks in a Taiwanese camp, i am SSSOOOO looking forward to it. please tell me the sarcasm was overwhelming.

it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover. it's the start of block leave. must recover.

Poetic Tragedy

2008-03-24T13:15:00.003+08:00

I was thinking about this during my boring-as-hell bike theory lesson.

The girls(or guys whichever you're sexually attracted to) whom you label as hot are simply those you wish to engage in moments of pleasure with. or fuck.
The girls whom you label as attractive are those you'd actually bother to marry. or at least participate in a relationship with a less sexually-orientated agenda.

This concludes two things:

the lessons are a waste of time
I don't know how to waste my time more productively and sensibly

Two series i've watched thus far share a very uncanny similarity. Other than the fact they're actually drama hidden beneath the illusion of comedy, the two male leads are hopeless romantics. One is relentless in his pursuit and forthcoming with his courting manners; the other is laid back and hides his undying love beneath layers of work and pressure. While i admire how honest and true to themselves they remain throughout the 12 or 22 episodes, in spite of their consistency in failures, they somehow manage to get the girl at the end. eyes on the prize like cheese for the mice. of course everything else has to work out for you; like coincidences have to be pre-planned while hope no matter how bleak will lead you out of the darkness and despair eventually. their comedic nature has a part to play in their success, although humour has also been known as a convenient way to fill up the silence and void. ironically and somewhat truthfully, a handful of well-known comedians have had nervous breakdowns and suffered depressions. they are so apt at filling up other people's voids that theirs are neglected. a price to pay for entertainment. a room of laughs can only do so much i guess.

coincidentally both series have their male leads play out as writers.
is this a calling from above?
am i not to be a devout of the engineering cult?
is the trail of bread crumbs leading me elsewhere?
or nowhere?

i'm starting to make no sense.

Seriously

2008-03-23T02:04:00.001+08:00

Don't take me seriously. Even I don't take myself seriously.

LAUGHS

2008-03-22T10:48:00.005+08:00

almost lost my Good Friday to SAF had it not been for some radical yet late decision making by my dearest OC. thankfully i made it home past 12 on thursday, inconveniencing my dad in the process. met up with my bmt ppl for lunch at bugis and tried to watch a movie thereafter. sadly we couldnt decide (SAF has been deciding for me for the past year) which movie to waste our time on; either Step Up 2 or Vantage Point. we incorrigible bastards hog-ed up the queue till we killed any last chance for others in a rush to buy the tickets to Step Up 2. fortunately in the end we did make a unanimous decision (which didn't include my vote though) very much thanks to our Indian Dude who wanted Rule Number 1. OK movie lah since i don't dig cheena stuff.

I tried to paint you a picture
The colors were all wrong
Black and white didn't fit you
And all along

Had dinner at BDK 85 with the rest and caught Be Kind Rewind at CS soon after. Have not heard mass laughter in a room for a long while but it's comforting to know that Singaporeans have decent humour still.I've not watched a movie in a month and right now i'm about to watch 3 movies in 2 days. When it rains it sure as hell pours.

We won't say our goodbyes
you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change

I realise i like to make people laugh. ALOT. especially those who seldom do or simply have a more acquired taste. they may simply be anatomically structured to have un-smiley lips or have muscular depravation around the mouth but it's still worth the challenge. knowing that they're humane beneath that cold exterior is heart-warming for me. knowing that in spite of their need to remain expressionless for personal reasons, a smile is a smile.

if i make people happy, who will make me happy? who will make me smile?

All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi

BPT

2008-03-16T15:39:00.002+08:00

supposedly the last of tactical exercises, it was more breezy than expected. we were even spared with decent deployment sites, which we heard were decided by our 2IC-to-be (rumoured to have 'the face of felicia chin and boobs of fionia xie'. right...). the only fun we got out of the whole ordeal was when we were at Kranji Dam. believed to be frequented by couples who are desperate for some HOT SEX IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, we were not disappointed. actually there was a constant stream of cars which would circle around the car park initially before settling in a lot. so my friend and I would pretend to be prowling randomly and shining our torchlights randomly before 'accidentally' swaying it over the windows of the cars. caught one couple making out not love before we were stopped by my officer. so all innocent girls out there be warned, it's Kranji Dam car park which seriously is out of place.

bank balance had dipped by 200 moolahs yesterday courteousy of my comics bag dvd.
found a gem of a song 'believe' by the bravery in my massive library of musik.
acquired 3 days off from the equally long exercise.
once again failed to find my adidas shoe.
need a new mp3 player.
bored.

on a separate note, my bike lesson at cdc yesterday was accompanied by an act of love. had this middle aged lady in my group who was sincerely supported by her husband throughout the entire lesson. while he was rather critical of her motoring skills at times, it was all cool. she was cool. not only do i admire her for being gutsy to take up biking, but her words of comfort for us youngsters are even more endearing. realised the bike enthusiasts community is proportionately smaller than that of cars. furthermore a large percentage of the bikers are generally malays or minahs, while me who form the young Chinese males is possbily the smallest group. have been told countless times how dangerous the whole idea of it can be. even when it isn't your fault, the fault of others will endanger you. but it is all cool, i'll just avoid being reckless and keep my finers crossed. hope to get my bike before i ORD! oddly i have this deep desire to be a pizza hut delivery dude, but that's a while away. 39 weeks suckers!

Rare Emo Eric

2008-03-09T18:45:00.001+08:00

Feed me the EMO pill.

Rare Emo Eric

2008-03-08T03:09:00.004+08:00

The only reason why NS is succeeding to be the failure of us all would be that it's made of a large proportion of men. men generally are beings with a naturally insensitive and egoistic nature. maybe thanks to that many are disillusioned to think we're that fuckin' good la. then again NS might have been more pleasant if i had spent my pre-teen years in a non co-ed school. wait, HELL NO! cant wait for the day when i can say 'Oh when i was in NS...'

Clarence is right. I wont deny it but NS gives u alot of time to think. TOO MUCH in fact. you start to think of everything and anything in between of all the saikang you've been pre-destined to clear.and SHITS but i've been thinking a fair bit of stuff as well. i managed to get over it before but this time round it's taking a tad longer. this always happens when things start to fall into place smoothly and as much as i know what is going on, i can't stop it. i don't wish to play myself out and be a fuckin' hypocrite, but i dont mind being honest. when you think things through logically rather than let emotions get over your head, you realise you have nothing to lose if you play your cards right. i know i can don't bother and simply ignore, but maybe i shouldn't try too hard. you know, just let things happen.

problem is i like how i'm living now and i can wait. what's another 5 years after 20 years? i can wait.

The Oddly Early Monday Morning

2008-02-25T08:00:00.003+08:00

how can you not feel the least bit intellectually inadequate if for 5 times a week you're chained in a hellhole void of mental and emotional stimulant? as if being ridiculously stupid and blindly obedient is not enough, we have to, pardon me, lick the very balls of our superiors which shares a inverse proportion to the size of their egos. the only discovery after these 2 years will be that of self-discovery: the awareness of my sexual orientation. if only they had paid for a red army with the budget surplus.

watching californication(courtesy of ccyk) has gotten me thinking about how i should live myself in my more adult-self(that is if i survive the next 10 odd years). i've come to realise that i survive better with short-term aims rather than looking far and ahead. of course it only means that i live by the moments and often have these lapses of time when i'm purely aimless. while i do not have a well-crafted and formulated plan as to how i'm going to SURVIVE the remainder of my life, i've at least got a rough sketch of how i'm going to LIVE it.

without a doubt, at barely 20, i can hardly say i've embraced the flaws of humanity nor lived a life of woes. however it's all bollocks when people put themselves before others. wouldn't it be more logical if we all looked out for one another? but i guess the more vast the organisation, the lesser need for logic is in place (nsfs can clearly relate to this).

when we're in primary school, teachers ask WHAT we want to be when we grow up.
when we're in junior college, teachers should be asking WHO we want to be when we grow up.
that way when we're dead, you're only left with the WHY.

i don't wish to be tied down or held back when i'm older. of course to savour free will would be to embrace that of others, so i'll never be judgmental regardless of how much cynicism i'll be put through. i prefer the idea of being able to experience the wrath of many evils, that way you'll get temptation out of the way. after which you'll be more in position to make an informed decision. i'll never be a good parent in that sense i guess, given my open nature. but if i'm to be charged for showing how life can kill you in its many miraculous ways, then i plead guilty.

basically i want to grow up without growing up.

everything is as it

2008-02-10T19:08:00.000+08:00

there are some thoughts i would like to put to paper, but on the other hand i have to be discreet about it. i have neither a degree in cryptology nor the art of a Eisner Award winner, so i'll just have to be content with the rusty vocabulary of a nsf.

everything is as it should be

a very ordinary chinese new year as usual so nothing to be discreet there.
a very ordinary weekend as usual so nothing to be discreet there either.

oh wait, couldnt find the adidas gazelle shoes i had spotted at limited edt. thought the outlet at queensway would have my size but no stock. looks like im back to square one.

sometimes decisions aren't wrong till they're not right. maybe that's why we hope. but hope is so overrated. like i hope i do well for the test. or i hope i get into ocs. or i hope i don't get ditched within the week. but *newsflash* hope doesnt get you anywhere except where u hope you want to. regardless, i too hope i'll snap out of it.

everything is as it falls apart

If to relax was a sin, i'm going straight to HELL.

2008-02-01T22:35:00.000+08:00

I've been having exercises weekly, but on a brighter note it gives the illusion of a shorter week. as routine as it may sound, it sure makes ns less painful. looks like my wish for a quick and painless 2008 is materialising.

we were let off earlier today out of the goodwill of our OC. then again 'goodwill' is too much of an overstatement. seeing how rare a chance i get to leave the dreaded Juroung Camp before sunset, andrew and I took this chance to play pool. actually it's been a few weeks since we last played so the decision was unanimous. we were talking about quite a number of things, in particular how his bank balance had increased by another digit. basically the entire time we were condemning the older generation for hampering the social and cultural development of teengaers. i've known him for a pro-arts enthusiast since we were inducted into the signal family in SAF and if i've learnt anything from him, it's never to be narrow-minded and kan cheong. as relac as i already am, i think i've taken it to a different level after conversing more with him. he's a man of ideals and purpose, something i lack after years of structured education. the system killed my desire. fortunate for me i have ns to stagnate these 2 years before i have to make decisions again. i ain't going to live my uni life like how i spent my jc years. while it's important to look ahead, sometimes it's the smaller steps u take that make all the difference.

but like how the old people will always say, "ideals so what?! can ideals feed your stomach?".

Socrates in Love

2008-01-26T17:11:00.001+08:00

世界の中心で、愛をさけぶ

Just Like Magic

Bikinis are always a turn on

2008-01-12T20:25:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

POR-NO

2008-01-12T19:55:00.001+08:00

i saw this on someone's blog while i was blog surfing as usual.

interesting how pornography can still be such a stimulating debate. too bad youtube doesnt have the whole episode, the debate was reaching its climax. there's nothing like two bitches getting it on...verbally.

Last day of block leave; First day of 2008

2008-01-01T17:37:00.001+08:00

time sure as hell flies when you're having fun, or at least when you're sleeping more than you should.

i realised most of our outings happen by chance, or is at least decided only hours before we meet. but it's good that my friends don't mind, planning them in advance takes the fun away somehow.

any-oh-how, had overnight mahjong session at mh's sanctuary. of course before that was a meal at botak jones with clarence which ended somewhat in regret given that we underestimated the portions of their sevings. there's a reason why they called it 'Whoop-ass Cheese Fries' i guess. did some window-shopping and waited for the rest to congregate at bedok interchange before we made our way over. for almost 45min i was Whooping clarence's ass in Pro Evo sadly, using his Arsenal only made my sweet victory more bitter for him. so on our way i was pretty high on oxygen and we met a bapuk and thought of stalking her/him/it but decided it'd be in our best interests not to ruin 2007.

basically for the rest of the night we played mahjong, or at least the rest were while i was learning and deciphering the unusual inscriptions on the tiles. haha as much as i can't count for nuts, neither can i distinguish a fish from a bamboo. in the end it's good to have such sessions regularly as it gives us a chance to catch up. we managed to last the night cos of our endless talking cock and charmaine's mysterious sweets (believed to have some insomnia-inducing effect). my only regret for the day was to win money in blackjack from the host, but i've promised to repay my gratitude in the form of a mac breakfast in the future.

wonder how i'm going to spend my new year next year.

'we only make bad choices to make better ones'

2007-12-28T01:25:00.000+08:00

fact #1
paolo nutini is Scottish

love actually doesnt happen

2007-12-28T00:33:00.000+08:00

twice i've watched love actually. twice i've watched it alone.

maybe it'll be different this time next year.

i need to start writing random posts of random factz. next time then.

friday night rules

2007-12-22T12:36:00.000+08:00

so it was like any other saturday night, only that it was a friday night. finally got tickets to a freakin' movie at vivo gv max after countless attempts to catch a movie there. thank god for dbs ibanking, now we've got a wild card under our sleeves. was suggesting to clarence that we flash our tickets to the fuckin' long queue, but that would mean we'd never make it pass the snacks counter. last night felt more relac' than most others, it's like im more myself when im with them. no false fronts; no awkwardness; no wayang. and yes it was another noisy and brain-wrecking dinner when we had another round of 'Clarence's Lame Riddles'. once again, meng hwee beat me to it. just rmb: BLACK MAGIC is BAADDDDD.

actually what i wish to highlight for the night would be that our dear gian seng wore jeans. i think the last time i saw him in pants would be prom night and jc. it seems he'll never wore pants on his own accord. hm guess i know what to get for his bday then. anyway for proof....

notice what they're both pointing at

the girl who leapt through time

2007-12-21T15:08:00.000+08:00

THE GIRL WHO LEAPT THROUGH TIME

i just caught it on vcd and it was better than i'd expected. seriously go watch it on crunchyroll, it won't disappoint!

Unlike mother Unlike father

2007-12-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

was having dinner with mom at parkway parade hours ago, and in the midst of window-shopping i realised something. regardless of how 'distorted' the parents may look, their babies never fail to look adorable. guess my kid is safe then, or for at least his adolescent years.

ARGHHH there's this noisy fat bitch on deal or no deal now who's absolutely diva-like (as in just noisy). apparently she's the boss of this organisation that empowers plus-sized women mentally and emotionally.

omg.

start of block leave!

2007-12-19T11:56:00.000+08:00

my block leave had unofficially started before my guard duty. feeling the effects of irregular sleep already, doubt im going to last the afternoon. i've not made any big plans for this 2 weeks but i seriously hope i make full use of such precious civilian time, especially when they come in long breaks. i anticipate more movies eating pool random activities ; all sound fine to me.

off the tangent, i was made to escort this 40-something malay dude to the barber in my camp yesterday. the rp was suspicious of this random dude with an equally random agenda and quite rightly so given that the dude was well above the average age of a national serviceman. no matter i did escort him to the barber in the end. turns out he really was here for a haircut from the barber, who was also the same barber who snip his hair away 20 odd years ago when Uncle Noor (the random malay dude) was CPL Noor, storeman of 5 SIR. apparently they've been best buds/hardcore rockers/sepak takraw kahkis since then. i was quite taken aback by this out-of-the-blue discovery of a friendship that has lasted 2 marriages and 8 kids between them. however what left an impression on me was how smoooth Uncle Noor was. 10 mins into the conversation and he was air guitar-ing to some HARDCORE ROCK MUSIC, taking breaks in between for puffs off his cigarette. it was a worthy 1/2 hour for me. at the end of the day, just keep everything smooth and all will turn out alright.

off the tangent once again, i sure as hell cant believe how i managed to drag myself into the cinema to watch Alvin and The Chipmunks. ever since the trailers premiered in the cinemas, i would always tell myself i'd never catch it. but in the unfortunate twist of events there i was, 8th row from the front in cinema 5 at GV Marina watching the above. agonizing. seriously agonizing. the songs were bearable but the movie was just....agonizing.

at kenny roger's

at pacific coffee

1 week to 1 year to ORD

2007-12-09T20:07:00.001+08:00

every time i'm on my way home after a sat night outing, i'm already hoping the following weekend would come. although it's already been almost a year of NS, it only means i've got another year left. WHOOPE DOOH THE FUN NEVER ENDS!!!

putting that random burst of insanity aside, it's been weekend like any other. the only highlight of last night would be that we managed to get tickets to a R21 flick. we didn't even need to use myself as a decoy to sneak in; clarence simply bought the tickets and we walked right in. as much as i would like to insist that the movie definitely did not justify its rating, that wasn't the point of the night; we were criminals for a good 2 hours. after last night escapade, we'll probably keep trying our luck till we get ratted out. but till then, it's Good Luck Chuck next.

on a random note, we were spending a good portion of time yesterday trying to guess just what the hell Fuzzy Wuzzy likes.

Fuzzy Wuzzy likes BOOBS but not BREASTS. Get It?

i is chui

2007-12-02T19:00:00.000+08:00

'i is chui'

time's running out

2007-12-02T10:26:00.000+08:00

i don't exactly have anything to blog about right now, but just for the sake of it and with 15mins to spare, i'll try to make most of this entry.

a day of guard duty can really mean alot when you have someone to talk cock with. all the random remarks and bullshit aside, i've been asked upteem times what was the one thing i would do if i could. w/o hesitation i would say a cook, opening up a restaurant in some south American country and starting a family there. of course all talk no action makes me a hypocrite, but the dilemna i'm in now is doing what i can or what i want. we may think we have alot to lose when we choose a path less taken, but as quoted from my friend, 'the only thing we stand to lose is wasted opportunities'. im still 4 months from hitting the big 2-0, and while to many of us it seems we still have plenty of time left to spare, time is actually running out. to make matters worse we have to put our life on hold as we serve our mandatory 2 years before we're full-time civilians.

sometimes i do wonder why some try so hard, while others stay indifferent.

im on leave. hurray!

2007-11-08T20:34:00.000+08:00

on this random thursday night, where dialouge from 'Fracture' is blasting from the tv and my ears are plugged into 'Cry Me A River', im still pondering over this question:

do cookies and milk make a person's day?

yea absolutely out of the blue, i know. but i just like writing random gibberish for filler sake.

back to reality, i took leave yesterday and spent the entirety of the day at home rotting to good food, music and movies. i had actually spent 11 hrs on bed, just sleeping. the surprising thing was that it didnt take much effort to do so. i sure as hell miss the good old days of sinful slumber. did want to make plans to go out for dinner with random people, but my laziness overwhelmed me and i simply spent these 2 days at home. right now, im feeling guilty wasting precious civilian time lazing around, but the thought of having to move my limbs continuously when im out made it an obvious choice. im gonna have a pretty rotten weekend anyway thanks to army, and it seems almost factually that my future saturday mornings will be burnt along with my sweat. coupled up with the pressure to be able to boast as the best signal unit once again, all this only makes ORD sweeter.

i think i can consciously feel my brain growing duller, given my weekly routines. either i inject more life into my weekends or i just awol.

A rainy afternoon

2007-10-28T16:25:00.000+08:00

it's pouring heavily now.

i'd never have expected my mom to be taken in by the whole korean wave hype, given that she herself had admitted its predictable plots and tears were a put off. but just like how 'Chemical X' made the powerpuff girls, korean dramas simply have this secret formulae that makes aunties swoon over the male leads and 'feel' for their heart-wretched lives. however the irony of it all is that it was I who bought 'Lovers in Paris' for my mum. at least now she knows what is youtube, which she frequents to satisfy her inner fangirl needs.

'stairway to heaven' was up on tv just now, and as much as i was laughing my ass off to the stiff acting and cheesy coincidences, korean dramas will be korean dramas.

the rain is still heavy.

Quote

2007-10-21T20:21:00.000+08:00

'It's better to burn out than to fade away.'

is love the only rational act?

2007-10-14T18:35:00.000+08:00

attended my bmt friend's pop from armour as a 3sg on fri night. haha saw TEE lin seng there too, as surprised as he was to see me. but their parade was hella' cooler than mine in bmt, cos they actually drove their big-ass tanks into the parade square. with all the vroom-vroom and exhaust fumes from revving the engine, damn it was all cool. somehow attending a pop as a civilian is way different from participating in it. head over to holland v after that and had some random western food before ending the night with good old ice cream, courtesy of haagen daz.

im on a mitch albom roll sia. reading his 'tuesdays with morrie' after finishing 'the 5 people you meet in heaven'. same concept, a feel-good book that gives you a warm feeling at the end. was discussing with my friend how mitch felt that 'love is the only rational act'. of course my friend argued from a mathematical point of view how that was absolutely impossible, but he did have some good points there, which as much as i am convinced, i myself hope is not true. he's way ahead of me in terms of age/experience/maturity, so i've much to learn still.

but in spite of all this, we still take a cab home although it costs and is as time-consuming as taking public transport. a price to pay for comfort i guess.

love may just be as rational as taking a cab during peak hours.

randomities

2007-10-07T01:08:00.000+08:00

just because i'm all too lazy to type grammatically correct sentences or even complete sentences, i'll just keep 'em short with randomities (random stuff).

the only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone

clarence and i were offered lovers' seats at the cathay (or so i think)

daywatch was 5-stars good

when man u wins, we lose

which 5 people am i going to meet in heaven?

exams on weekends is audacious

back is not bag

Ex.

2007-10-06T01:03:00.000+08:00

Ex.
i'm lying restless in my hammock,
all tied and left hanging in the unimog.
the moonlight cascades upon the sandy floor,
where i had been sleeping days before.

breakfast, lunch and dinner,
it gets worse, not any better.
the box of combat rations remained sealed,
i grow hungrier with every meal.

in the day, the sun shines brightly,
i'm covered in sweat and looking unsightly.
in the night, the mosquitoes buzz aimlessly,
till i'm bitten all over completely.

without a shower in days,
but plenty of time to waste,
i'm just chillin' in this waiting phase,
all anxious and ready to return to base.

still, outfield isn't too bad,
you don't eat alot, you don't grow fat.
you simply laze around until you soon forget,
that it's been days since you last crap.

it's been 3 days since we departed,
72 hours since it all started.
i have not bathed in 72 hours.
i have not shat for 72 hours.

another 72 more hours?

yea you must wonder how someone outfield can still harbour any thoughts to pen a poem. the fact itself tells alot i guess. i'm just that free.

Back.

2007-10-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

so i did get to book out on Friday, and all this while i thought my weekend was gonna get fucked up by saf.

the week didn't drag itself though, cos i had range on the 1st two days and immediately the next day we had to move out for exercise. it was supposed to have stretched till 9th oct Tuesday but SURPRISE SURPRISE i'm actually spending the friday night (or early sat morning) in the comfort of my own home, rather than on some random hill w/o having to bathe or shit for let's see...coming to 3 days? I'm still savouring the moment cos you never really know; one moment you're watching random shit on youtube and the next you could be setting up the racal mast in the middle of the night. (i've done both anyway.)

actually, outfield isn't too bad (okay maybe in my case). i mean in spite of all the inconveniences, the price for freedom is reasonable. after I'm done doing my thang, i just chill till we paradise. so there's no light's out or reveille timings, nor is there any random saikang to do. there's no punishment, cos there's nothing to punish us for. moreover our commanders don't bug us at all and there's actually more time than shit to do. well all i have to say is that signals isn't too bad; it's just the people in my company.

so hurray till the next Ex. which given the monthly forecast shouldn't be too long away.

Ex. BW

2007-09-29T13:54:00.000+08:00

just had a 4 day exercise this wk and all i had with me was 2 sets of uniform and facial wash. yes you cant live to fight another day if you have a layer of sand and dust over your face. think garang man, think biore. still it wasnt that bad cos my 3sg det com was like any other nsf who thought the idea of an army was a waste of time, as much time as we already waste in the army.

gonna have another 7-day Ex. next week which will overlap my weekends HAHA 3 SIG BN IS SO DYNAMIC! on the contrary, exercises aren't too bad since the weeks end faster and ORD drags nearer. looks like another packed year-end, hopefully by this time next year we'll get to chill.

spent half the night last night taking a cab home and in the midst of that had to send 3 others to 3 other separate locations. getting caught in random traffic jams along the way has prompted me to write this in hope that i'll remind myself repeatedly to NOT TAKE A CAB HOME THE NEXT TIME!!!

TAKE THE TRAIN ERIC!!! THE TRAIN!!!

sick

2007-09-14T12:22:00.000+08:00

my block leave has come to an end, and im going to miss it. doubt there'll be one coming up any time soon given the forecast of events that stretches till end of 2007. been feeling like shit lately after i vomitted half of my dinner at ard 5 in the morning yesterday, thereafter spending almost an entire day in bed just sleeping. it simply amazes me how much of a sloth i can be. wanted to take a mc for tomorrow's guard duty, but i know it's something i'll have to do so sooner or later. besides it's about time my streak of burnt saturdays came to an end.

i need to recover asap.

effort = result?

2007-09-07T23:34:00.000+08:00

am i trying too hard?

block leave is wicked sick!

2007-09-06T17:56:00.002+08:00

savouring my precious block leave which we have been duly rewarded after aoh. the burnt weekend didn't feel so bad actually cos 1) i wasn't the only one in camp on that faithful weekend 2) we had half of the day to sleep and other half to sleep more 3) i only got into trouble at the beginning and end of the whole week. i realised that all the stupid shit that has been happening in camp lately, i've been involved one way or the other. or maybe it's just that the same group of ppl are getting into trouble. great minds think alike...

...and fools (like me) seldom differ.

monday night at home

2007-08-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

it's all worth the ice-cream if you ask me. yea all 7 bites of it for a weekend of confinement.

damn i'm just gonna get shitloads more on the real marathon itself. SHITLOADS more.

at least i had decent company during my 'stay'.

weekend: burnt

2007-08-18T01:24:00.000+08:00

there's nothing like a good movie with good seats. suntec has yet to disappoint me with last minute pangseh, but im definitely glad i managed to get last row seats to bourne ultimatum. fantastic movie, fast-paced and non-stop action. love the gritty and realistic feel of it, although there were a couple of emo moments. nevertheless, my paid money worth i'll say. thanks clarence for accompanying me last minute, but friday night was as good as my weekend would get.

was watching the honour and passion show yesterday. not much army stuff in it and more of all the love relationships entanglements everywhere. i lost track of who loves who, and it's ridiculous how everyone ends up with the one they didnt like initially. or maybe that's a more realistic depiction of life? ah whatever, i wouldnt know better anyway. still watching tay ping hui relentlessly wooing felicia makes me wonder how much effort it takes to finally be in a relationship with a girl you've had flame for. or maybe it takes much more than flowers and sacrifice?

i wouldnt know better, so what the heck.

jade seah

2007-08-16T21:00:00.000+08:00

more jade seah, please.

LEE HOM!!!

2007-08-13T23:34:00.000+08:00

AAAHHHH WANG LEE HOM YES I WOULD CHANGE ME GENDER FOR YOU!!!

AAAHHHH DID I REALLY SAY THAT???

AAAHHHH I REALLY DID!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.......

sunday of sundays

2007-08-12T12:33:00.000+08:00

back from guard duty, shagged out from all the prowling etc. looks like another of those empty weekends.

frankly, my dear, i don't give a damn.

peace

2007-08-05T00:46:00.001+08:00

was watching the videos mh took of naomin and st during her bday last year. ha those were good times, i seemed more carefree and ignorant. but it was alright to be so then.

we just need to stay more Positive, with a capital P. look at the bigger picture of life and your present/imminent troubles will magically appear insignificant. works all the time for me, though i seldom remain in a state of comfort for long. still, we all need to chill for a sec once in a while. simply forget about it all and look ahead.

yep, just chill.

just FUCK it

2007-08-04T12:10:00.001+08:00

looks like turnout is next week, finally UIP is coming to an end.
sweet.

two incidents in one day. simply terror for us, but glad they're both safe and sound now.
safety first always.
act blur second.

the world thrives on self-centredness, a sad fact we all choose to cover up with cliche stories of good people doing extraordinary things.

why is it that bad things always happen to good people?

as andrew has so aptly put it, we all should just FUCK it.

random arrows

2007-07-28T01:53:00.000+08:00

back to 3 sig and i had to run like a dog on the first day. ah the good old days of uip, so nostalgic. actually uip just has its ups and downs, but with the new specs we don't feel so lonely like before. i was randomly arrowed to perform for the bn anniversary thing as props, but the night was all well and fun.

i realise i have too many problems of my own to bother about others. but that's just me.

last time

2007-07-21T01:10:00.000+08:00

when was the first time you knew it won't be the last?

sometimes you just know.

quote of the day

2007-07-17T21:17:00.000+08:00

when was the last time you smiled for the first time?

for the bday boy.

2007-07-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

celebrated clarence's bday at the fish&co opposite ps. initially i thought it'd just be a simple dinner cos of the rush rush schedule, but never knew mh would actually pass the cake to them (fish&co ppl) and make them do their thing for the bday boy. kudos to mh for carrying it all out despite the lack of time. accurate to my friend's account, they did make clarence stand on his chair, altough in my friend's case, the bday boy had to sing a song on the chair instead. anyway it was a decent bday celebration, especially compared to last year's one. sometimes i do wonder how i could have done all the shit i did last year, it's just so arsefucking mean la. hopefully i'll get to redeem my good karma in due time. im just glad bday boy was happy that evening, and that's all that matters on 14th july 2007.

im also glad shui qi obliged me when i asked him to drop by to wish bday boy happy bday. im sure it meant more to clarence than it did to me, but it's true that everyone at that table seemed stunned. it'll just be a little getting used to i believe, in due time. thanks sq for coming over, despite the last minute request.

i've been thinking it over, and i've never been more sure than before. i wont be a hypocrite, and shall stick to what i say or have said.

and like i said before, i'm rooting for you clarence.

cry me a RIVER

2007-07-01T10:46:00.000+08:00

it's been 4 weeks since i've begun my driver course, and hell no would i have guessed that i'd be able to drive a manual vehicle. as of now i'm learning the 3 tonner which is a one BIG truckie. another 3 more weeks and i'll be back in the shithole of 3 signal bn. whoopie-doh i SIMPLY cannot wait.

any-oh-how, some things are better unsaid while others are best left to thoughts.

it's another of those sundays

2007-06-10T17:30:00.000+08:00

having one of those chill-out sundays as usual. woke up late(no surprise) and simply let the day pass. a haircut was the only thing on my agenda today, but it doesn't hurt to spend a weekend like this; no rush whatsoever. may next week be more fruitful without having it screwed up by needless activities.

random thought:
sometimes the anticipation itself can be so overwhelming that when you finally get to the end, you feel disappointed. we hold high expectations for our interests or goals, so much so that we feel let down when they're not fulfilled. maybe that's why most of us choose to expect the least, so that we won't have to suffer the burden of disappointment.

or maybe we should all just fuckcare and let everything fall in its place.

Day 2 of Fun Days

2007-06-03T01:07:00.001+08:00

the week is coming to an end and i'm beginning to realise how good a week of leave can get. met up with my bmt bunk mates today for a good and much-needed outing. nothing out of the ordinary, had carl's for lunch, attempted to catch shrek3 at THE CATHAY but failed miserably. pool was next on the agenda before we attempted once again to catch shrek3 at prince and succeeded unmiserably. joined up with another bmt bunk mate for dinner at suntec before window shopping for a couple of hours.

what i didnt talk about was all the chitchat, good food, endless walking/strolling/wandering, snacking, watching shrek3 in the lovers' seats, more ridiculous walking before settling at kenny roger's for dinner, shopping for clothes and buying a book at book fair, more walking and talking and ending it all at city hall mrt. to think we used to spend almost everyday together on the tiny offshore island of tekong. Fun days abound, and this is definitely one of the few i've had in a while. damn do i like well-spent days.

next outing: steamboat at marina.

Last friday of May 2007

2007-06-01T23:09:00.000+08:00

it's the last Friday of the month, as well as the last weekday of my leave. haven't really fully maximise the time of each day but i will admit that today was a day well spent. met up with her at eunos mrt, which i'm beginning to feel that the we and it have a strong affinity going on. we had lunch at whitesand's mac due to the pouring rain, and that place brought lots of memories back. can't believe we had so many talk-cock sessions there, about everything under the sun and in the school. anyway the rain showed no mercy till we had to tread across puddles of water to get to the bus stop. only then had we paid our price with wet feet did the clouds changed for the better. fast forward to collecting cert, stoning at the wooden benches, taking 81 to tampines and we're already waiting for the movie to begin. and there's nothing like a good movie with....

...GOOOODDDDD SEEAAATTTSSSSS!!!!

i'm telling you, good seats and me havent seen eye to eye in a while. POC wasnt draggy la, im mean i didnt look at my watch until half the movie had gone by. although towards the end i had this 'matrix: revolutions' vibe where the whole trilogy ended with this hour finale of wham bang action. still i did enjoy it, despite the much criticism i got from others. haha we even went back to catch the short clip after the credits although we left the theatre already. dinner wasn't that fantastic though, but i couldnt think of anything else to have although we did contemplate fish&co for a sec before rejecting the idea. the day ended with a McFlurry and a good walk home which began rather randomly. and i did get home eventually by following the red track back.

somehow this day might not happen again too soon in the future after i begin my driving course next monday, but i will admit i did have fun as well. my leave has come to an end and while i still have my driving course to keep my santiy for the next 7 weeks, i'll have to return to the dreaded 3 Sig Bn in due time. hopefully by then i won't get too accustomed to a slack life and still be ready for any hell thrown at me. then again maybe all i need to do is just smile my way through.

=)

why are "raining" clouds dark in colour and "sunny" clouds white in colour?
Dense deep clouds exhibit a high reflectance (70% to 95%) throughout the visible range of wavelengths: they thus appear white, at least from the top. Cloud droplets tend to scatter light efficiently, so that the intensity of the solar radiation decreases with depth into the cloud, hence the gray or even sometimes dark appearance of the clouds at their base.

p.s: i have no clue what it means.

Tiger Trail...ROAR!

2007-05-22T14:13:00.000+08:00

at home right now due to possibly the earliest book out i've ever had on a weekday. sorta had a road race(Tiger Trail) this morning where we ran 6km for the fun race. i seriously believe we ran more than that, cos commanders being commanders, love to 'smoke' the newbies (which is us). i was totally shagged out after that, but we had to do area cleaning before we could book out. bunk inspection is just a drag la seriously. it's just like how i used to study for chinese exams, makes no difference if i do study or not.

so here i am chillin' out before meeting my army mates later in the night. shacked out and ready to fall asleep.

'Slide away, and give it all you've got
My today, fell in from the top
I dream of you, and all the things you say
I wonder where you are now?'

OASISSSSSSS................

Good food makes me Happy.

2007-05-18T23:24:00.000+08:00

3 signal is where i am. boon lay is where it is. miserable is how it is, esp this UIP period. but arh the army will be the army, and a private is all i am. feels like shit at times, but at least i can ORD(unlike the regulars there who'll never see ORD in quite a while). it's only been 3 days and all i can look forward to in there are the precious book outs. even book outs are so hard to earn on fridays, with the wicked sick bunk inspections. of course i'll not delve any further to 'protect' myself. im sure there're alot of other nsfs sucking thumb more than i do, so i shan't complain.

anyway dinner today was impromptu, but nevertheless satisfying. fortunate for me, i got to book out at 4 despite our supposedly horrendous bunk inspections. had pizza hut in bedok, with the cheesey lava crust. nothing like good food accompanied by a good chat. found out things i never did notice before. just as i was telling her, it was like movie; at the end where all the flashbacks made u notice aspects or things about someone that you never realised so. we both were really tired after a week of labour, so went back home after that. precious saturday and sunday coming up, must use wisely.

CHEESE FRIES ARE NICE!

vespa OH vespa

2007-05-12T20:25:00.000+08:00

well i know jade seah owns a vespa. honestly a RED vespa looks absolutely sexy. just hot hot HOT! i don't know what it is about riding a scooter that feels so old-school. it's like an adult playing a toy; a really cute toy that is. for now im rather tempted to take up a motorcycle license just for the sake of riding a MAROON vespa. just having the wind in your face, it feels so...free. what's a vespa?

my last week at SI is coming to an end, where does all the time go to? hopefully i'll be posted to a unit with some of my clique platoon mates, at least the next 1 1/2 years wont be THAT miserable. NS isn't that bad if you ask me. then again maybe that's because everything is working in my favour. be it 3rd SIG or SI or AIR FORCE, what matters most is who stands by me as we cheong the remaining 2 years. till then, im left with one last guard duty in SI.

SHIATTTTT LLLAAA!!!

a friend in need is a friend indeed.

2007-04-20T23:34:00.000+08:00

it's about time i found a good friend for myself.